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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that students who achieve the best academic results should be rewarded. Others believe it is more important to reward students who show improvement. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is no denying the fact that some
of
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members of
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 the public believe that
students
Use synonyms
 who get the best academic results should be rewarded. Others say it is more crucial to
reward
Use synonyms
 the
students
Use synonyms
 who show improvement.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that it is more important to
reward
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 the
students
Use synonyms
 who do better in results, there is
also
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 an argument that they think
students
Use synonyms
 who show improvement are more important to
reward
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.
This
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 essay will analyse
this
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 topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand, rewarding the best
students
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 is more helpful.
In other words
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, when we
reward
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 them,
this
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 will help them to
fell
Use the right word
feel
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of
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apply
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what they have done.
Also
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, to tell them their work was not easy to do, so
according to
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 what they did, they deserve the
reward
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.
In addition
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,
this
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 will push them to achieve new goals and complete their achievement.
For example
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, when we give them the
reward
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, they will think of what else
that
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apply
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they can achieve.
On the other hand
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, giving the
reward
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 to
students
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 who show improvement is more essential. It is
also
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 possible to say that if we give them the
reward
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, it will develop their thinking
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as how to be the best.
Moreover
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, they will think about the full marks in every course to get the
reward
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.
For instance
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, when they begin each course, the first idea will be how to do better than
the
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in the
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 past. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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 question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that rewarding the best
students
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 is the best choice.

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advice
Plan your essay. Write an intro that repeats the task, then two or three body parts each with one main idea, and a short ending.
advice
Use one clear idea in each paragraph. Start with a short sentence that tells what the paragraph is about.
advice
Give real and simple examples so your point is clear.
advice
Check word choice. Use easy and exact words.
advice
Keep a neutral tone for the two views and state your own view clearly in the end.
advice
Check spelling and word order.
strength
The essay talks about both sides of the view.
strength
The writer gives an opinion in the end.
strength
There are clear link words like On one hand and On the other hand.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • reward
  • achievement
  • improvement
  • progress
  • effort
  • motivation
  • growth
  • standard
  • excellence
  • fair
  • equal
  • inclusion
  • recognition
  • incentive
  • certificate
  • prize
  • prize
  • criteria
  • measure
  • progress report
  • growth mindset
  • plan
  • goal
  • support
  • opportunity
  • competition
  • inspire
  • belong
  • value
  • design
  • system
  • transparent
  • consistent
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