IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

These days many people leave their country to work abroad and take their family with them. Do you think benefits of this outweigh disadvantages in terms of family development?

There is a view that many individuals are leaving their own
country
Use synonyms
 for some reasons, and they can take their family with them,
while
Linking Words
 some
people
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 say it is better to stay in their own
country
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 and continue living. I personally believe that moving to another
country
Use synonyms
 with family members can be the best
experience
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 in life. On the one hand, these days it is becoming increasingly common for
people
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 who want to leave their own
country
Use synonyms
 with their family.
For example
Linking Words
, choosing a job in another
country
Use synonyms
 can bring lots of benefits.
such
Linking Words
 as higher salary, respect, and not too much workload.
As a result
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, for
people
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 who want to leave their
country
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 , all these benefits can be beneficial to them, and they will
also
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 have their own
experience
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.
However
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, there can be seen some issues,
firstly
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 , after coming to a new
country
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, it will not be easy to be employed as soon as possible, and
also
Linking Words
 finding some property accommodation to live in can
also
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 be a high price.
Thus
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,
people
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 who want to leave from
country
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 to
work
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,
firstly
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, they have to go alone and have some good
experience
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 and
then
Linking Words
 to take family with them can be a good idea.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, these days a lot of
people
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 are leaving their own
country
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 to
work
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 and
also
Linking Words
 taking family members with them can have some issues.
For example
Linking Words
, choosing to live on another continent and having a job is not easy to think about, as no one knows what it is like to
work
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 there and what kind of workload
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
there
.
Verb problem
is.
show examples
As a result
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, the
people
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 who left their
country
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 can suffer there
first,
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it
Correct word choice
as it
show examples
 is not easy to find accommodation and
also
Linking Words
paying
Wrong verb form
pay
show examples
taxes .
However
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, it can have some plus sides to it, like they will have the highest
experience
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, Individuals should know about another
country
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's requirements, and how it can be difficult to live
.
Rephrase
there.
show examples
 In conclusion,
although
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 it is good to get the highest salaries from another
country
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 and
also
Linking Words
 call family members to live together,
however
Linking Words
, it cannot be as easy as we think, and there can be problems about a limited number of
people
Use synonyms
 in their own
country
Use synonyms
 to
work
Use synonyms

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structure
Plan what you want to say. Put one idea in each paragraph and link it to your main view.
language
Use simple, clear lines. Short sentences help the reader.
content
Give a few real facts or numbers to show costs or work life when moving.
task
Make your view clear in the start and keep it in mind as you write.
content
A clear view that moving with family can be good.
structure
The essay has an intro, body and a ending.
coherence
Some linking words are used to join ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • benefit
  • disadvantage
  • family
  • development
  • abroad
  • culture
  • quality of life
  • job
  • salary
  • support
  • money
  • learn
  • challenge
  • bond
  • environment
  • language
  • friends
  • emotional
  • stress
  • happiness
  • adaptability
What to do next:
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