IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is important for everyone, including young people to save money for their future.

There is no denying the fact that people
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 all different ages should save a good amount of
money
Use synonyms
 for their future life.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held
believe
Replace the word
belief
show examples
 that saving
money
Use synonyms
 is a crucial act in someone's life, there is
also
Linking Words
 an argument
opposes
Correct pronoun usage
that opposes
show examples
 it. In my opinion, I consider saving up from
early
Correct article usage
an early
show examples
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
, a very important thing for the future.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, saving up
money
Use synonyms
 can primarily contribute
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 becoming financially intelligent.
In other words
Linking Words
, learning how to use
money
Use synonyms
 and
prioritizing
Change the spelling
prioritising
show examples
 your
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
show examples
 can have a great impact on growing your wealth.
In addition
Linking Words
, people must learn how to save up considering the amount of
money
Use synonyms
 they receive regardless
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 its source.
For example
Linking Words
, I grew up around a family
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 loves to
have
Use the right word
save
show examples
 savings which made me love to save in order to become financially stable and buy my own car and apartment, which
what
Verb problem
is what
show examples
 my young version of my father did. Another point to consider is that saving
money
Use synonyms
prevent
Correct subject-verb agreement
prevents
show examples
 us from wasting
money
Use synonyms
 rather than collecting
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 to buy our necessary needs. It is possible to say that saving
money
Use synonyms
 can impact other aspects of life. It can help in reducing the existence of
greedy
Replace the word
greed
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, saving
money
Use synonyms
 does contribute
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 developing a
balanced
Punctuation problem
balanced,
show examples
 mature personality.
For instance
Linking Words
, there is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
published university research that agrees with the idea of how saving up
money
Use synonyms
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
 other parts of our lives,
such
Linking Words
 as maturity. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that saving up
money
Use synonyms
 can get you a decent future.

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task response
Task response shows a clear view that saving money is important, but ideas are not fully developed. Add more reasons and examples.
structure
Add a stronger, direct thesis in the introduction and restate it in the conclusion.
coherence
Paragraphs have topic sentences, but some points lack detail. Expand each idea with examples, reasons, and outcomes.
grammar
Fix grammar errors and awkward phrasing to improve readability. Focus on subject-verb agreement and word choice.
coherence
Use simpler sentences and link ideas with clear transitions between sentences/paragraphs.
content
Clear overall topic and stance
structure
Has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
What to do next:
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