Some feel that cities should be designed to be beautiful while others feel their functionality is more important. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

There is no denying the fact that mobile
phones
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play a crucial role not only in the lives of individuals but
also
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in the economy.
While
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it is a commonly held belief that banning
phones
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in public areas, like libraries, shops, and public transport, there is
also
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an argument that opposite it. In my opinion, I consider that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
if ban will cause many problems because
theyphones
Correct your spelling
they phones
play a big part in our lives.
To begin
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with, mobile
phones
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have become extremely common in recent years. One major reason is that they make our lives easier, as people can order almost anything using their
phones
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.
In addition
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, another important benefit is saving money.
For example
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, if someone needs new jeans, they can
use
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their phone to visit various websites and choose the best deals with high quality at reasonable prices. Another point to consider is that mobile
phones
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can have negative effects because they can disturb people and trigger frustration, especially in libraries.
However
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, there are several solutions,
such
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as setting clear rules.
For instance
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, research shows that cities which enforce rules
such
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as silent mode or restricted phone
use
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experience fewer disturbances without banning
phones
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completely.
Moreover
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, the government should not ban the
use
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of mobile
phones
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;
instead
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, it can limit their
use
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in certain situations. In conclusion, despite people having different views. I believe that it is a bad idea to ban
phones
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because individuals mostly depend on them like,
purchase
Wrong verb form
like purchasing
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by Apple Pay,
order
Wrong verb form
ordering
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a taxi, or taking photos.
As a result
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,
Correct pronoun usage
it make
show examples
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
them so much anger and bored.

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structure
Keep ideas clear. Use short sentences. Put one idea in one paragraph.
content
Explain both sides well. Then give your view near the end.
grammar
Fix small grammar and spelling. Use common words.
task response
Clear view is given at the end.
coherence
Uses linking words to join ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • city
  • design
  • beauty
  • function
  • side
  • people
  • life
  • home
  • work
  • plan
  • transport
  • road
  • street
  • park
  • garden
  • tree
  • color
  • light
  • art
  • clean
  • safe
  • air
  • water
  • waste
  • cost
  • price
  • build
  • housing
  • job
  • service
  • cycle
  • walk
  • car
  • bus
  • train
  • speed
  • easy
  • hard
  • big
  • small
  • modern
  • old
  • idea
  • point
  • problem
  • solution
  • improve
  • balance
  • future
  • choice
  • option
  • together
  • planning
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