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Writing Samples
Band 5

Fast food is a part of life in many places and as a result, this leads to bad effects in lifestyle and diet. To what extent do you agree?

Nowadays, the consumption of instant
food
Use synonyms
 is increasing, which causes many illnesses and bad spending habits. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, and in
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss why. The number of people devouring fast
food
Use synonyms
 has risen compared to the previous decades, and there are many reasons and motives behind that.
Firstly
Linking Words
, many choose to go with
this
Linking Words
 option because of its convenience and diversity.
For example
Linking Words
, some employees who work from 9 to 5 do not have enough time to cook, so they pick the easiest alternative, which is eating out at McDonald's or any other kind of restaurant.
Secondly
Linking Words
, some fast
food
Use synonyms
 chains are cheap; you can get a quantity of sauces, fries and drinks for a suitable price. If we compare them to organic ingredients,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 they are much more expensive and cost so much, so individuals prefer to buy from them because of their range of prices.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, indeed, eating out frequently may result in many diseases,
such
Linking Words
 as obesity, diabetes, and stomach and heart problems, and the reason
why
Rephrase
apply
show examples
is
because
Change preposition
that
show examples
 these types of
food
Use synonyms
 contain many preservatives, which would make a person's health and diet worse if they are eaten too much.
Also
Linking Words
, going to fine dining places a lot may affect how a person
would manage
Wrong verb form
manages
show examples
 and
operate
Correct subject-verb agreement
operates
show examples
 their money, especially since these days you can pay directly using Apple Pay, which may cause significant issues, whether now or in the near future,
for instance
Linking Words
, going into debt.
To conclude
Linking Words
, what humans eat plays a crucial part in their lifestyles and diets, so people should start to look out for what they are eating and plan
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
how to eat healthily to improve their health.

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structure
Make a clear plan in small steps. Start with a short view in the intro, then 2 clear reasons with one example for each, and finish with one short end.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas fit together, like 'and', 'but', 'because', 'so', 'also'.
content
Give more exact points and examples. Name a place, a rule, or a number when you can.
planning
Keep each paragraph to one idea. Check that every sentence helps that idea.
grammar
Check grammar and sentence flow. Use short sentences to avoid long run-on parts.
task response
You show a clear view on the topic.
coherence
You use practical ideas like cost and debt to show effects.
lexical
You name real foods like McDonald's.
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