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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the international student enrolments at three universities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the international student enrolments at three universities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of international student
enrolments
Use synonyms
 at three universities.
Overall
Linking Words
, the University of Riverview had the largest
number
Use synonyms
 of international
students
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 the Smithtown and Earlwood Universities had slight differences. The
number
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 of international
enrolments
Use synonyms
 at Smithtown University
received
Verb problem
has received
show examples
 6,000 Indian
students
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.
Thereafter
Linking Words
, the figure decreased to 4,000 and 2,000
enrolments
Use synonyms
 from Nepal and Vietnam.
While
Linking Words
 the international
students
Use synonyms
 from Indonesia stood at around 1,100
students
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, the
students
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 from Colombia
recorded at
Verb problem
numbered
show examples
 approximately 800
people
Check wording
apply
show examples
. Turning to the Earlwood
enrolments
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, the Indian
strudents
Correct your spelling
students
 accounted for 5,000 individuals.
This
Linking Words
 figure declined moderately to 4,000 from Nepal and continued to reduce
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 3,000 for
Vietnames
Correct your spelling
Vietnamese
students
Use synonyms
. The
number
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 dropped significantly to around 1,100 Indonesian
students
Use synonyms
 and roughly 900
Colombia
Replace the word
Colombian
show examples
students
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
enrolments
Use synonyms
 at the University of Riverview generated 7,500 Indian
students
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, and thereby it decreased substantially to 5,000 for
Nepal
Replace the word
Nepalese
show examples
students
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
number
Use synonyms
 declined continually to approximately 3,800 Vietnamese
students
Use synonyms
. The international
students
Use synonyms
 from Indonesia and Colombia stood at around 1,200 and 1,00
students
Use synonyms
 respectively.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, enrolments, students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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