The chart below show the percentage of electricity used by different sectors in Eastern Australia in 2007 and 2010.

The two charts compare how much heat is

spent

Verb problem

produced

show examples

by 8 sectors in Eastern Australia from 2007 to 2010.

Overall

Linking Words

it is clear that

Linking Words

while

Linking Words

residential and commercial sectors remained relatively stable,

aluminium

Use synonyms

, manufacturing and other factors changed levels. In 2007, the proportion of

electricity

Use synonyms

used by one sector in Residential was 28% and 23% 2007, respectively.

However

Linking Words

Aluminium

Use synonyms

and manufacturing accounted for 13% of

electricity

Use synonyms

consumption.

In addition

Linking Words

, the least

electricity

Use synonyms

-consuming sectors are transportation and agriculture were 1%. In 2010, the second factor remained stable , which was

instead

Linking Words

of manufacturing and

aluminium

Use synonyms

. Manufacturing

Punctuation problem

: the

show examples

the

Fix capitalization

The

show examples

percentage of spending on manufacturing was 9%.

Aluminium

Use synonyms

electricity

Use synonyms

used the figure for 11%. Interestingly, the proportion of

electricity

Use synonyms

consumed by the other fields was all similar to the initial figures.

Bunnijon16

Dec 23, 2025

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.

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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words aluminium, electricity with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.

▼

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

127 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

percent
percentage
share
part
portion
sector
home
homes
household
industry
services
other
increase
rise
grow
go up
decrease
fall
drop
decline
go down
change
change in
shift
stable
constant
remains
slight
small
big
large
sharp
steady
trend
pattern
compare
compare with
in comparison
2007
2010
overall
describe
electricity
use
consumed

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The chart below show the percentage of electricity used by different sectors in Eastern Australia in 2007 and 2010.

In many places, people's lifestyles are changing rapidly, and this affects family relationships. Do you think the advantages of such developments outweigh the disadvantages?

In many societies, there is a growing emphasis on individualism, with people prioritizing their personal goals and desires over collective interests. Is this is a positive or negative development?

In many countries, people now wear Western clothes (suits, jeans) rather than traditional clothing. Why? Is this a positive or negative development?

living in a country where you have to speak foreign language can cause serious social problem and practical problem. to what extern do you agree or disagree with this statement.

The best way to improve children’s life is fathers and mothers attending course for parenting and child development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?