IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts show the electricity generated in Germany and France from all sources and renewables in the year 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts illustrate how much electricity is produced from all types of sources (
convertional
Correct your spelling
conventional
 thermal,nuclear,
even
Correct word choice
and even
show examples
 from innovative ones(hydroelectric,wind,
biomass
Use synonyms
 and solar)) in two European countries-
Germany
Use synonyms
 and
France
Use synonyms
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 the course of 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be observed that,proportion of German production
wasless
Correct your spelling
was less
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 the
ration
Use the right word
ratio
show examples
 of
Fransce
Correct your spelling
French
 production.In
Germany
Use synonyms
,
convertional
Correct your spelling
conventional
 thermals
wer
Correct your spelling
were
 used more,
while
Linking Words
 in
France
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 did not
take
Verb problem
play
show examples
 a
main
Correct word choice
major
show examples
 part in
process
Correct article usage
the process
show examples
.
By contrast
Linking Words
, hydroelectric
was
Check wording
power was
show examples
 mainly generated in
France
Use synonyms
 compared to
Germany
Use synonyms
,since
Correct pronoun usage
it align
show examples
align
Correct subject-verb agreement
aligns
show examples
 with hydroelectric, solar
Linking Words
also was
Correct word order
was also
show examples
 not a generally used
source
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
with
Add a comma
with,
show examples
 all types in the process of generation, conventional thermal in
Germany
Use synonyms
 and nuclear in
France
Use synonyms
 rated as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
highly useful ground with 59,6% and 70% respectively.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 conventional thermal was a crucial part of production in
Germany
Use synonyms
, it was approximately five times less in
France
Use synonyms
,13.7%.With regard to the figures for renewables in
Germany
Use synonyms
 and
France
Use synonyms
, they were shown on
diagram
Correct article usage
a diagram
show examples
 as
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
similar,with
having
Verb problem
apply
show examples
17.4% and 13.7%. There were more demands for
biomass
Use synonyms
(39.3%) and
hydroelectronic
Correct your spelling
hydroelectric
(80.5) in
Germany
Use synonyms
 and
France
Use synonyms
,correspondingly, rather than other resources.Wind was the second demanding
source
Use synonyms
 in
Fermany
Correct your spelling
Germany
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 its figures,36.9%
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 it was 10.5% in
France
Use synonyms
.Hydroelectric was 17.7% in
Fermany
Correct your spelling
Germany
, even
tough
Use the right word
though
show examples
 it was a main
source
Use synonyms
 in
France
Use synonyms
,
similarly
Linking Words
 with
biomass
Use synonyms
, since
biomass
Use synonyms
 took a main role in
process
Correct article usage
the process
show examples
 in
Germany
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, but it was not the same in
France
Use synonyms
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
having
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 percentage of 8.1.There
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 not more need for a solar
source
Use synonyms
, as the figures were 6.15 for
Germany
Use synonyms
 and almost six times less in
France
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words biomass, france, germany, source with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • electricity generation
  • renewable sources
  • conventional thermal
  • nuclear power
  • hydroelectric power
  • biomass
  • wind energy
  • proportion
  • distribution
  • significant
  • contributor
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