IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

It is
believe
Wrong verb form
believed
show examples
 that people should serve the place where they acquire their skills and knowledge from,
whereas
Linking Words
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
supports
Correct subject-verb agreement
support
show examples
 that professionals should be free to opt where they wish to serve. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, people should have the right to choose where they want to work.
There
Use the right word
Their
show examples
 decision could be based on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
factors like their goals and career aspirations
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 should be encouraged.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
open
Replace the word
opens
show examples
 doors for
professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
show examples
 to learn and assimilate the knowledge they have
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is better for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society in general. Like students from a developing
country
Use synonyms
 doing their undergraduate from top institutions in developed countries, would allow them to learn from the
top notch
Use the right word
top-notch
show examples
 faculty of the respective fields. These students could
then
Linking Words
 return to their home
country
Use synonyms
 and contribute
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 developing the sectors based on the experience they have.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, these skilled people should have some obligation to
atleast
Correct your spelling
at least
 stay in that
country
Use synonyms
 for a
few
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
period. They should contribute to fostering the
country
Use synonyms
's economy and serve there in the domain where their a skill shortage.
For instance
Linking Words
,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 provides financial support not just to the citizens but to the international students who are deserving. In return
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 least a professional could do is to repay that by contributing to their society, in the field of medicine, technology and others. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 everyone should have the freedom to work at any place they wish,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I strongly believe that even for a limited period of
time
Punctuation problem
time,
show examples
 they should stay and serve the place where they acquired the skills
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

planning
Plan your essay. Make a clear plan with two sides and your view at the end.
cohesion
Use link words to fit ideas together, like 'also', 'but', 'however', 'for example'.
language
Check grammar and spelling. Use simple, common words.
content
It shows both sides of the topic.
content
It gives a clear view at the end.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: