IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

According to research, the current stocks of fish in the world's seas are becoming more and more reduced. Why is thie happening? What can be done to change this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience

Fish
Use synonyms
 stocks in the world’s seas are becoming smaller.
This
Linking Words
 problem is mainly caused by human activities, especially overfishing and
pollution
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.
However
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, there are ways to improve the situation. One main reason is overfishing. Today, modern fishing equipment allows people to catch a lot of
fish
Use synonyms
 in a short time.
As a result
Linking Words
,
fish
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 do not have enough time to reproduce. Another reason is
pollution
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. Plastic waste and chemicals pollute the oceans and make it hard for
fish
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 to live. To solve
this
Linking Words
 problem, governments should take action. They can limit the amount of
fish
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 that can be caught and control fishing more carefully.
Also
Linking Words
, creating protected sea areas can help
fish
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 populations recover.
In addition
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, reducing
pollution
Use synonyms
 by controlling waste is very important. In conclusion,
fish
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 stocks are declining because of overfishing and
pollution
Use synonyms
. If governments protect the oceans and control fishing,
this
Linking Words
 problem can be reduced in the future.

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task response
To get a higher band, add more facts or examples that show you can think deeply about the issue. Explain more about each point.
coherence
Link ideas with more clear order. Use a few more linking words so ideas fit together well.
language use
Keep a simple and clear style. Short sentences help keep the reader and fit simple words.
structure
Clear plan with intro, body, and conclusion.
coherence
Good use of sign posts to move from one idea to another.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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