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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart shows the percentage of people who have moved house either in last 3 years,between 3years to 5 years,not within the last 5 years

The bar chart illustrates the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 who have relocated in the
last
Linking Words
three
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
, between
three
Use synonyms
 to
five
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
 ago, or not within the
last
Linking Words
five
Use synonyms
years
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, across
five
Use synonyms
 different
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 younger
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
 tend to move more frequently in the past
three
Use synonyms
years
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 older
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
 show a preference for relocating either between
three
Use synonyms
 to
five
Use synonyms
years
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 ago or not at all in the
last
Linking Words
five
Use synonyms
years
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. Looking at the specific
age
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groups
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, the 20 to 29
age
Use synonyms
group
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 has the highest proportion of
people
Use synonyms
 who have moved house in the
last
Linking Words
three
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
, with approximately 45%.
This
Linking Words
 is followed by the 30 to 39
age
Use synonyms
group
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 at 34%. Notably, only 22% of both the 20 to 29 and 30 to 39
age
Use synonyms
groups
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 have not moved within the
last
Linking Words
five
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years
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, those in the 40 to 49
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 exhibit a strong preference for moving between
three
Use synonyms
 to
five
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
 ago, with 55% of
people
Use synonyms
 from
this
Linking Words
group
Use synonyms
 having relocated during
this
Linking Words
 period. The proportion of
people
Use synonyms
 who have not moved in the
last
Linking Words
five
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 quite significant at 31%. Interestingly, only 14% of
people
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
group
Use synonyms
 moved in the
last
Linking Words
three
Use synonyms
years
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. For the 50 or older
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
, the chart shows a more even distribution. Approximately 41% of
people
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
group
Use synonyms
 moved house between
three
Use synonyms
 to
five
Use synonyms
years
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 ago,
while
Linking Words
 a slightly higher percentage (42%) have not moved in the past
five
Use synonyms
years
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. Only 17% of
people
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
group
Use synonyms
 relocated in the
last
Linking Words
three
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
. In summary, younger
people
Use synonyms
 are more likely to have relocated in the past
three
Use synonyms
years
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,
while
Linking Words
 older individuals prefer to stay in their current homes longer, with many having moved between
three
Use synonyms
 to
five
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years
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 ago or not at all in the
last
Linking Words
five
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, while".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, three, years, five, age, groups, group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "move" was used 8 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • people
  • moved
  • house
  • last
  • years
  • factors
  • decisions
  • trends
  • opportunities
  • family
  • needs
  • stability
  • financial
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