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Band 4.5

The chart shows the average number of hours each day that Chinese, American, Turkish and Brazilian tourists spent doing leisure activities while on holiday in Greece in August 2019.

Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear
reading
Correct word choice
that reading
show examples
 and beach activities were the most popular pursuits across all nationalities
Linking Words
whereas
Punctuation problem
, whereas
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 visiting places consistently accounted for the least amount of time. Notably,
Chinese
Use synonyms
 tourists were the most avid readers
while
Linking Words
 Brazilians spent the most time on the beach. In terms of reading,
Chinese
Use synonyms
 tourists dedicated a significant 8
hours
Use synonyms
 a
day
Use synonyms
 to books, which was the highest figure among all countries. Americans followed at 5
hours
Use synonyms
 a
day
Use synonyms
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
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 Turkish and Brazilian tourists spent 4
hours
Use synonyms
 a
day
Use synonyms
 on literary pursuits, which was merely half of the number of
Chinese
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. Regarding coastal and sightseeing activities, Brazilian and Turkish
travellers
Use synonyms
 prioritised the beach at 6 and 5
hours
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 a
day
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respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Chinese
Use synonyms
 and American
travellers
Use synonyms
 spent 3 and 4
hours
Use synonyms
 on
this
Linking Words
 activity. Interestingly, sightseeing is the lowest number among all nations. American and Turkish
travellers
Use synonyms
 have the same numbers, at 3
hours
Use synonyms
 a
day
Use synonyms
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
 Brazilian and
Chinese
Use synonyms
travellers
Use synonyms
 allocated a mere 2 and 1
hours
Use synonyms
 on
this
Linking Words
 activity.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words chinese, hours, day, travellers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average number
  • leisure activities
  • tourists
  • nationalities
  • cultural trends
  • interests
  • vacation
  • influence
  • participation
  • impact
  • weather
  • events
  • festivals
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