IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Being a celebrity –such as a famous film star or sports personality. Brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity bring more benefits or more problems?

Being a celebrity is more beneficial than having problems. Like, if someone
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
 famous and
its
Use the right word
it's
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 their dream to
became
Wrong verb form
become
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celebrity
Correct article usage
a celebrity
show examples
Punctuation problem
, than
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than
Use the right word
then
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 definitely they
achieved
Verb problem
have achieved
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there
Use the right word
their
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 dreams. They can overcome
from
Change preposition
apply
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there
Use the right word
their
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 financial problems. Because
its
Use the right word
it's
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better
Correct article usage
a better
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 way to earn nowadays.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 comes with problems as well
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 that problem can be overcome

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development
Plan your essay before you write. Start with a clear view, then add two reasons and a short example. Finish with a short closing note.
coherence
Use simple join words to link ideas, like 'also', 'but', 'however', and 'so'.
language
Check grammar and form. Small fixes like 'become' for 'became' and 'there' for 'their' help a lot.
content
The idea that being famous can have both good and bad sides is clear.
development
There are some simple points about money and dream coming true.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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