IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The most significant role of
science
Use synonyms
 should be to improve our quality of
life
Use synonyms
. I strongly agree, advancement in
science
Use synonyms
 and technology should be reflected in people's
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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whether
Punctuation problem
, whether
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 it's on their
life
Use synonyms
 expectancy or their comfort,
otherwise
Linking Words
 advancement without a cause and effect would be a waste of resources.
Historically
Punctuation problem
Historically,
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 the
life
Use synonyms
 expectancy was very less. There
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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higher
Correct article usage
a higher
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children
Fix the agreement mistake
child
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 mortality rate because of diseases,
that
Correct word choice
which
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today has
Correct word order
has today
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reduced
Verb problem
been reduced
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 significantly
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 because of the advancement in
medical
Correct article usage
the medical
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 field. The diseases that were referred to as
Use synonyms
life threatening
Use the right word
life-threatening
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 are now easily curable.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, almost all the gadgets invented had a purpose of improving our living conditions. In old ages, people
use
Wrong verb form
used
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 to travel by
horses
Fix the agreement mistake
horse
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 or on
feet
Fix the agreement mistake
foot
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, which was uncomfortable and
time consuming
Use the right word
time-consuming
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 resulted in the creation of
Correct article usage
the airplane
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airplane
Change the spelling
aeroplane
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, because of which the travelling time has been reduced exponentially. A person could now commute to the other part of the world relatively quickly. 
On the contrary
Linking Words
, it would be wasteful of resources if
science
Use synonyms
 is pushed for just exploration and
donot
Verb problem
does not
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 have any evident benefits
on
Change preposition
for
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human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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.
For instance
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, for almost a decade,
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of countries have invested in the idea of
colonization
Change the spelling
colonisation
show examples
 of other planets in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space. These
mission
Fix the agreement mistake
missions
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 are very expensive
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 we have not yet found any substantial benefit
of
Change preposition
from
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that
Correct pronoun usage
them
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. It would
much
Verb problem
be much
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 better if even half of that fund was invested in research for
cancer
Correct article usage
a cancer
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 cure, we might have a breakthrough in that. In conclusion, I believe it is more meaningful for
science
Use synonyms
 to have a purpose of improving
human's
Check wording
human
show examples
 lives.
Otherwise
Linking Words
,
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of time and energy would be wasted the research and development is directionless.

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Task response
Be clear about your view at once and keep it steady. The essay says you strongly agree; state this in the first sentence and keep it in mind as you write.
Structure
Use a simple plan: intro, 3 body points, short conclusion. Start each body with a clear topic sentence that links to the aim.
Content
Give one or two plain examples for each idea and say how they show the aim. Explain why the example matters.
Grammar
Check grammar and word form. Fix small errors like 'donot' to 'do not', 'used to', 'these missions', 'in the past'. Keep sentences short.
Language
Use easy words. Do not use long or hard words. Keep to common words.
stance
Clear stance on the topic.
content
Relevant examples tied to everyday life (life expectancy, travel).
Coherence
Some linking words help flow between ideas.
Relevance
Overall, the essay answers the question.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
What to do next:
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