IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people believe that having a hobby is just a waste of time. To what extent do you agree or disagree

The issue of having
Use synonyms
hobby
Correct article usage
a hobby
show examples
 has sparked debate
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 some arguing that it is just a
Use synonyms
time consuming
Use the right word
time-consuming
show examples
 activity.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 I firmly agree that
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 a
hobbby
Correct your spelling
hobby
 is crucial for growing both professional and personal lives One compelling reason for my stance is
having
Correct word choice
that having
show examples
Use synonyms
hobby
Correct article usage
a hobby
show examples
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
show examples
 a vital role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 growing immediately .
This
Linking Words
 is because when individuals have
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
exactly
Replace the word
exact
show examples
schedule
Punctuation problem
schedule,
show examples
 they have no
waste
Replace the word
wasted
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 .
Linking Words
Thus
Punctuation problem
Thus,
show examples
 it is evident that having
Use synonyms
hobby
Correct article usage
a hobby
show examples
 is
crucial
Correct article usage
a crucial
show examples
 factor in
life
Use synonyms
. Another key argument supporting my view is
engaging
Correct word choice
that engaging
show examples
 in
extra
Correct word choice
extracurricular
show examples
 curricular
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 expectancy .When humans
do
Verb problem
pursue
show examples
 their
interests
Punctuation problem
interests,
show examples
 they are willing to
Use synonyms
life
Replace the word
live
show examples
.As a relevant example of
this
Linking Words
senior
Punctuation problem
, senior
show examples
 citizens tend to enjoy leisure activities .
it
Fix capitalization
It
show examples
 is not only
interest
Replace the word
interesting
show examples
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 it
also
Linking Words
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their cardiovascular health.
Linking Words
Consequently
Punctuation problem
Consequently,
show examples
this
Linking Words
further
Linking Words
strenghens
Correct your spelling
strengthens
 the idea that having a
hobby
Use synonyms
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
both
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
 system and
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 expectancy.
Whilist
Correct your spelling
Whilst
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
the
principle
Use the right word
principal
show examples
 issue with having a
hobby
Use synonyms
 is
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
 too much
time
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
enjoying leisure activities rather than work or study.An evident example of
this
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
consuming
Verb problem
time-consuming
show examples
.
It
Verb problem
It's
show examples
 like
addiction
Correct article usage
an addiction
show examples
 to the internet. In conclusion , I strongly agree that having a
hobby
Use synonyms
 is important for personal strengths and health
system
Check wording
apply
show examples
.Given these
points
Add a comma
points,
show examples
it is clear that
Linking Words
 having a
hobby
Use synonyms
 significant impact on society. Nasiba

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task
Plan your answer. State your view, then give two small reasons with one simple example for each.
coherence
Use easy linking words to show flow, like and, also, but, so, for example.
coherence
Make one idea in each paragraph. Start with a clear topic sentence and end with a short line.
language
Check spelling and fix big grammar errors. Use short, clear sentences.
content
Clear position is shown; the writer wants to agree with the topic.
content
There are some ideas that link to the topic, like hobby and health.
structure
Some effort to give examples and to end with a view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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