IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Young people are spending increasing amounts of time and money on fashion trends. Is this a positive or negative development

Young
people
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 are spending increasing amounts of time and
money
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 following
fashion
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trends
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.Especially,
blogers
Correct your spelling
bloggers
spending
Verb problem
are spending
show examples
 a lot of
money
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. They are interesting
fashion
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trends
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. But they
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
have
trend
Correct article usage
a trend
show examples
 of
money
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.
This
Linking Words
 is a lot of positive development.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
have
Wrong verb form
it has
show examples
 negative development.
Nowadays
Punctuation problem
Nowadays,
show examples
 many young
people
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 like to follow
fashion
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trends
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.
Bloggers
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 on social media
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
want to dress like them.
Bloggers
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 often buy expensive
clothes
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, shoes and accessories. Because of
this
Linking Words
, young
people
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 think
fashion
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 is very important.
Fashion
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trends
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 can be fun and interesting for many
people
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. There are some positive sides
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 development.
First,
Linking Words
fashion
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 helps young
peopleexpress
Correct your spelling
people express
 themselves. They can show their style and feel confident.
Also
Linking Words
,
bloggers
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 can earn
money
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 by sharing
fashion
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 ideas.
This
Linking Words
 creates new jobs and helps the
fashion
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 industry grow. When young
people
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 like their
clothes
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, they feel happy and
moticiated
Correct your spelling
motivated
.
Fashion
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 can
also
Linking Words
 help
people
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 make friends because they have similar interests.
However
Linking Words
, there are
also
Linking Words
 negative sides. Many young
people
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 spend too much
money
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 on
clothes
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. Sometimes they buy things they do not need.
This
Linking Words
 can cause
money
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 problems. Some
bloggers
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 show a perfect life
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 other
people
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 feel sad or stressed because they can not buy the same things.
Fashion
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trends
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 change very fast, so
clothes
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 are thrown away quickly.
This
Linking Words
 is bad for the environment. In conclusion, following
fashiom
Correct your spelling
fashion
trends
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 has both positive and negative effects. It can make young
people
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 happy and confident, but it can
also
Linking Words
 cause
money
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 and stress problems. Young
people
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 should follow
fashion
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 in a simple and smart way.

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task
Make your view clear from the start and keep it the same till the end.
structure
Plan your essay with an intro, 2 body parts, and a short conclusion.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, but, however.
grammar
Check spelling and grammar so readers can read easily.
ideas
Use a small example to show how fashion trends can affect money or the env.
content
Some clear ideas about both sides.
structure
Conclusion shows balance of good and bad effects.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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