IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The most important function of music is that it helps people reduce stress. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that the most effective use of
music
Use synonyms
 is
that
Change preposition
to
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
help decrease anxiety. I fully agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, and I will explain the causes behind that.
Music
Use synonyms
 is medicine to many individuals, not in a physical
way
Use synonyms
, but in a mental and spiritual
way
Use synonyms
, because it can help them get through tough points in their lives.
Also
Linking Words
, listening to slow songs can help improve sleep quality and calm the nervous system in the body.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, many artists find singing and writing an operative method, which is a
way
Use synonyms
 they can express themselves without any
judgemental
Use the right word
judgmental
show examples
 views.
While
Linking Words
music
Use synonyms
 plays a crucial role in reducing stress and blood pressure, it helps boost
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
memory as well and
enhance
Correct subject-verb agreement
enhances
show examples
 the performance of the brain.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a huge amount of the population cannot afford psychological sessions and treatments;
hence
Linking Words
, they find
music
Use synonyms
 a therapeutic
way
Use synonyms
 to heal and manage their complex emotions.
For instance
Linking Words
, if a person is experiencing grief or encountering issues
while
Linking Words
 finding his passion,
music
Use synonyms
 may act as his guide spirit and assist him.
Also
Linking Words
, if someone is dealing with trauma from the past or their childhood memories,
for example
Linking Words
, trauma from bullying that caused them to not communicate,
music
Use synonyms
 can inspire them and support them in a manner that helps with interacting and approaching mates well.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
music
Use synonyms
 is essential to our society and community because it is a powerful tool that can shape and sharpen people's feelings and make their
understandings
Fix the agreement mistake
understanding
show examples
 of the world better.

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Task response guidance
Plan your essay before you write. Say your view in one line, then give two or three clear reasons with small, easy examples.
Coherence guidance
Use clear links to show how ideas fit together. Add words like also, and, but, in addition, so.
Grammar guidance
Keep sentences short. Break long lines. Check grammar and commas.
Examples guidance
Give specific examples that fit your point. Name a real event or feeling to show the idea.
Conclusion guidance
Finish with a short end that repeats your view and sums up main points.
Content
Clear view that music can ease anxiety.
Content
Mention of grief, trauma, and study links shows depth of thinking.
Coherence
Some linking words help flow between ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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