IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The pie charts below provide some informaion about employment patterns in Great Britain in 1992.

The
graf
Use the right word
graph
show examples
 below demonstrates some information about employment patterns in Great Britain in 1992.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 there are two kinds of
employments
Fix the agreement mistake
employment
show examples
like
Punctuation problem
, like
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 manual and non-manual.
there
Fix capitalization
There
show examples
 are three manual employments
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
such as
Rephrase
namely
show examples
 craft
similar
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, general labourers and other manual.
Also
Linking Words
, there are three non-manual jobs like managerial and professional, clerical or related and other non-manual.
In addition
Linking Words
,
males
Use synonyms
 prefer managerial and professional ,but females prefer clerical or related.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, clerical
is
Check wording
work is
show examples
 done by 31% of females.
In addition
Linking Words
, managerial and professional
are
Verb problem
work is
show examples
 done by 29% of them.
Also
Linking Words
,craft or similar
are worked
Wrong verb form
work is done
show examples
 by 27% of them.
Linking Words
moreover
Fix capitalization
Moreover
show examples
,9% of females are working
on
Change preposition
as
show examples
 general labourers.
However
Linking Words
, clerical or related
are
Verb problem
work is
show examples
 done by 6% of the
males
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
,managerial and professional
are worked
Wrong verb form
work is done
show examples
 by 36% of them.
Therefore
Linking Words
,26% of
males
Use synonyms
 are working in craft or
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
show examples
.
Check wording
field.
show examples
Moreover
Linking Words
,2% of
males
Use synonyms
are worked
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
in
Change preposition
as
show examples
 general labourers.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, in addition, moreover".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words males with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment
  • jobs
  • work
  • sector
  • services
  • industry
  • farming
  • agriculture
  • share
  • part
  • whole
  • make up
  • account for
  • increase
  • decrease
  • more
  • less
  • most
  • many
  • some
  • in 1992
  • during 1992
  • as well as
  • compared with
  • whereas
  • there is
  • there are
  • overall
  • thus
  • so
  • full-time
  • part-time
  • grow
  • rise
  • fall
  • stay
  • therefore
  • but
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