Some people think that you can learn about the culture of different places by travelling to them. Other people think that you can learn just as much as about these places from reading books and watching travel documentaries about them. Discuss both the view and give your opinion. Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

There is an ongoing debate regarding the best ways to learn about different cultures and traditions.
While
Linking Words
some
people
Use synonyms
believe that travelling to different places provides cultural
knowledge
Use synonyms
, others claim that
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
can be learned by watching documentaries
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and reading books. In my opinion, I agree with the former view, as it provides real-time experiences.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss both views and my opinion in detail with examples.  On the one hand, it is believed that travelling encourages
people
Use synonyms
to learn different customs.
This
Linking Words
is because when visiting different places,
people
Use synonyms
have an opportunity to meet and interact with locals, which in turn provides valuable insights into their local traditions.
In addition
Linking Words
, during
such
Linking Words
visits, folks
also
Linking Words
learn about their local norms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
and laws, which makes them understand how lifestyles are different around the world.
This
Linking Words
practical experience cannot be gained by watching visuals on television
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
or reading travel blogs. As an example, a famous traveller in India
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
spent his lifetime travelling to cities around the world to enrich his cultural
knowledge
Use synonyms
with personal experiences.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, advocates believe that
such
Linking Words
knowledge
Use synonyms
can be gained by reading books or watching travel videos. There are
may
Use the right word
many
show examples
travel blogs and videos
inform
Correct pronoun usage
that inform
show examples
us about new places and lifestyles, but
those
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
informations
Correct your spelling
information
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
very limited, and in many cases cannot be fully exposed as there are certain limitations.
Although
Linking Words
it saves money and time,
people
Use synonyms
don't value the info unless they personally experience it.
For instance
Linking Words
, in South Africa, certain religions and customs are not exposed to
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
according to
Linking Words
their local law. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
there are different opinions on gaining
knowledge
Use synonyms
about various cultures, in my opinion , I believe that practical experience helps to retain information for a long period
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
such
Linking Words
experiences cannot
outrun
Verb problem
be outrun
show examples
by watching videos or reading books.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task
The essay answers the task with a clear view, but it should discuss both sides more evenly and give stronger reasons.
structure
Keep four parts: intro, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Start each paragraph with a topic idea and end with a small tie to the idea.
grammar
Fix grammar and word choice. For example, change 'There are may' to 'There may be'. Avoid casual words like 'folks' and check plural forms.
examples
Give clearer, more real examples. Explain what you learn from a visit or from a book with simple facts.
lexis
Use simple words and short sentences. Check common errors and keep meaning clear.
content
The writer states a clear view in the introduction.
structure
There is a logical flow and use of linking words.
content
The conclusion restates the view and the essay has a proper length.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: