IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving a car or a motorbike. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The minimum legal
age
Use synonyms
 for applying for a driving licence varies internationally. Despite the potential merits of raising
this
Linking Words
age
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 limit, I doubt it is the best way to reduce
traffic
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accidents
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Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
a
Correct article usage
this
show examples
 proposition fails to take diverse triggers into thorough consideration. First and foremost,
age
Use synonyms
 doesn't consistently correlate with safe driving. Admittedly,
age
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-related factors, ranging from physical conditions like strength and coordination for controlling steering wheels and
motorbike
Fix the agreement mistake
motorbikes
show examples
 to psychological traits like impulsiveness or recklessness, can influence drivers'
reaction
Fix the agreement mistake
reactions
show examples
 to emergencies and increase the likelihood of risky behaviour
such
Linking Words
 as careless driving or road rage.
However
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, drunk driving and speeding are
also
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 common among adult driver offenders,
while
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 tragedies caused by fatigue or distraction often involve experienced drivers.
Therefore
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, emphasising the minimum
age
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 presents an incomplete perspective.
In addition
Linking Words
, the practicability of
this
Linking Words
 approach is largely arguable. In the absence of statistical hard evidence to specify a clear
age
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 threshold correlated with reduced accident rates,
such
Linking Words
 a policy seems speculative rather than scientifically grounded, especially considering the global variation in individuals' maturity, education, and physical development.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, it must be stressed that not all
traffic
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accidents
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 are solely attributed to
driver's
Correct article usage
the driver's
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 fault. Jaywalking pedestrians, cyclists zigzagging through
traffic
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, poor road conditions like uneven surface and unclear
traffic
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 signs, and vehicle malfunctions like faulty brakes
due to
Linking Words
 inadequate regular maintenance can all significantly contribute to
accidents
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, regardless of
driver's
Correct article usage
the driver's
show examples
age
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. By and large, the causes of road
accidents
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 are complex. Simply raising the legal driving
age
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 cannot adequately address various threats on the roads and is, ergo, hardly an optimal solution.

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task response
State your view clearly in the first lines. Say how much you agree or disagree.
task response
Add one or two clear reasons and give them simple support for each point.
task response
Finish with a short end that restates your view.
coherence
Use simple linking words (and, but, so) to show how ideas fit.
coherence
Keep one main idea per paragraph and check punctuation.
strength
Your view on not just age, but other factors on road safety shows depth.
strength
You give many examples of driving acts and events that can affect safety.
strength
The order of ideas is easy to read and follow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • minimum legal age
  • road safety
  • cognitive skills
  • decision-making abilities
  • comprehensive driver education
  • unlicensed driving
  • economic implications
  • mobility
  • stricter enforcement
  • traffic laws
  • driver education
  • road accidents
  • mature and responsible
  • illegal driving
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