IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that climate change has the greatest effect on people’s way of life. Others believe the economy of the region has the greatest effect. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many people think that changes in the weather
affects
Correct subject-verb agreement
affect
show examples
peoples
Check wording
people's
show examples
 way of living,
while
Linking Words
 some think it is the economy of the area. I believe
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 both these aspects contribute to the lifestyle of its inhabitants. Weather encourages the choices in food and clothing,
while
Linking Words
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 economy raises the standard of living of its people. Climate is the primary factor for a
nations
Check wording
nation's
show examples
 customs and culture. To put
this
Linking Words
 into
prespective
Correct your spelling
perspective
, a study was made in the countries that are close to the equator. Asian countries, like India and Sri Lanka, that fall on the equator were recorded to have
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 vegetarians.
This
Linking Words
 was a result of an ample amount of green produced in their highly fertile lands,
due to
Linking Words
 good rain and sunlight in these areas. Another good example
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 is
Russians
Replace the word
Russian
show examples
 food and clothing habits. People mostly eat meat, as the crops cannot survive
such
Linking Words
 extreme temperatures.
In addition
Linking Words
, the clothes worn are
also
Linking Words
 completely different. Where Indians wear light cotton clothes, Russians choose
heavy
Punctuation problem
heavy,
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 warm clothes to keep away the harsh winter frost.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
wealth
Correct article usage
the wealth
show examples
 of the land
also
Linking Words
 decides the living conditions. One of the greatest examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 is the United
State
Fix the agreement mistake
States
show examples
 of America. Before
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
World War II, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Americans were homeless and lived in slums, with not enough funds for food or housing. With a major turn in their economy brought in the 2nd World War, the living conditions changed. Now, there are more employment opportunities, providing
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 income.
This
Linking Words
 has ultimately led to a superior lifestyle. And today, the USA is a superpower.
This
Linking Words
 proves that, with
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in the wealth of a country, there is a change brought into the lives of
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
show examples
 citizens. To summarise, I strongly believe that both
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 money and the weather of a particular region
shapes
Correct subject-verb agreement
shape
show examples
 the living conditions of its occupants. If managed with precision, these factors can change the
nations
Check wording
nation's
show examples
 identity and its status in the world.

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planning
Plan your answer. State what you will talk about and what view you hold.
structure
Make a clear order. First talk about one view, then the other, then your own view.
structure
Use clear topic sentences in each paragraph.
content
Check facts before you give a number or a claim.
language
Keep your language simple. Use short, simple sentences.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words like also, but, however, and for example to show connections.
strength
You use ideas from many places and give a final view.
strength
You end with a clear summary that states your view.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • weather patterns
  • food production
  • water supply
  • natural disasters
  • health problems
  • migration
  • employment opportunities
  • housing affordability
  • infrastructure development
  • consumer choices
  • social mobility
  • intertwined
  • agricultural productivity
  • healthcare costs
  • solutions
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