IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries, financial crime involving identity theft is increasing. What are the causes of this trend, and what effects do identity theft have on the victims involved?

In recent decades, various crimes
are
Verb problem
have
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becoming
Wrong verb form
become
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 more widespread all over the world.
In particular
Linking Words
, financial crimes which involve identity fraud
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 emerged as a growing concern in most countries.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine the main causes of
this
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 troubling issue and discuss its potential impacts. One of the most concerning factors is the increasing
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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 of jobless people in the community. Some people with no fixed jobs would have difficulties
to afford
Wrong verb form
affording
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 their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 and start to do anything they could to
continue
Verb problem
make
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 a living.
For instance
Linking Words
, a jobless person would dare to threaten others and ask for some money by impersonating their parents.
This
Linking Words
 issue is
further
Linking Words
 exacerbated by the significant increase
of
Change preposition
in
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 living
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
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for
Change preposition
over
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 the past years. Everything has been impacted by
inflations
Fix the agreement mistake
inflation
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, resulting in higher expenditures
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 most
of
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apply
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all
Correct determiner usage
apply
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basic needs.
As a consequence
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, economic instability might happen in some countries. Prices are gradually increasing each year,
while
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Correct article usage
the publics
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publics
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public
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 slowly losing their occupations, leading to a depletion of
mass’
Wrong verb form
the masses’
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 buying power. Another notable impact is increasing rates of
suicidal
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suicide
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.
For example
Linking Words
, especially someone who has been a victim
from
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of
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 identity theft crime, might become frustrated and feel overwhelmed
due to
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 the pressuring condition, and
ended
Wrong verb form
end
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 up taking their lives. From a long-term perspective,
this
Linking Words
 would lead to a serious problem and significantly lessen the nation’s quality of
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life
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. In conclusion, the increasing cases of
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
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 financial crimes are largely driven by increasing numbers of jobless populations and
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
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 rise
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 living
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
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. If left unaddressed,
this
Linking Words
 trouble may result in economic instability and increasing rates of
suicidal
Replace the word
suicide
show examples
.

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structure
Plan your essay with a clear order: first list causes, then effects, and finish with a short conclusion.
coherence
Use simple links to connect ideas, like and, so, because, but.
content
Be precise about identity theft and how it harms people. Give clear, shared ideas.
grammar
Check grammar and word choice: e.g., 'has emerged' should be 'has become more common', 'inflations' -> 'inflation'.
examples
Give more real examples or numbers to back your points.
content
The topic and aim are clear from the start.
content
The writer tries to cover both causes and effects.
coherence
Some linking words help to join ideas.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cyber-criminals
  • exploit
  • security weaknesses
  • oversharing
  • stringent
  • cybersecurity measures
  • emotional distress
  • restoring one’s identity
  • legal issues
  • financial credibility
  • significant financial decisions
What to do next:
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