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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that living in an apartment instead of a university dormitory has many advantages while others say that it has many disadvantages. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in an apartment instead of a university dormitory. Also, state your preference and say why you would choose that. 1111

Some people argue that renting the apartment brings more benefits than living in the university dormitory,
while
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 others say
otherwise
Linking Words
. In
this
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essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I will discuss both points of view and state my opinions afterwards. On the one hand, living in an apartment gives people freedom because there are no strict regulations.
For instance
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, dormitories have a curfew
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 students should be inside the area of the dormitory before a certain time.
Furthermore
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, living on your own allows you to have personal space, especially for someone
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 is unaccustomed to living with strangers or non-relatives.
On the other hand
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, student residences are a great place to live for students, as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 accessible and near the university. They can interact with other students and bring mutual benefits to each other,
such
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 as studying together or maybe brainstorming ideas.
In addition
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, for extroverts who want to improve their social life, living in dorms is simply the best choice. In conclusion, I personally choose to rent the apartment because I like to have my space and I am easily overstimulated by
crowd
Fix the agreement mistake
crowds
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 or
sound
Fix the agreement mistake
sounds
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.
However
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, each view has its advantages and disadvantages depending on our preferences.
While
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 living in a flat does not have any rules, a dormitory may encourage you to have a social life.

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development
Add more clear facts or examples for each side, then give a clean view.
organization
Start each paragraph with a strong topic sentence and keep one main idea in it.
language
Use small, easy words and check for small grammar mistakes.
content
You state your view at the end.
coherence
You use linking words to show both sides.
structure
There is a clear intro, body and conclusion.
The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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