IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many modern cities are designed without a clear plan, which negatively affects the quality of life of residents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many households suffer from problematic designs of their homes because they have been made by people who do not value integrity in their lives.
However
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, with some modifications in rules and by using different ways to prevent low-quality designs,
this
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 can be fixed.
While
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 a brand-new house should bring excitement to a family, some are being depressed by the damage those builders did to their property.
For instance
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, by using cheap foundations in the walls,
them
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 falling over is not a matter of if but when. By using low-quality
color
Change the spelling
colour
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 schemes on the walls, the paint will detach after a couple of months, or by not taking care of the roof seriously, the sealing will leak after a mild rain. Unfortunately, to all intents and purposes, if someone
realizes
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realises
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 that a haphazard
organization
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organisation
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 made their home after the family occupied the area, there is not much that the family can do anymore. To fix
this
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 problem, the government should value certain standards and use some entities to enforce a set of rules on architects to prevent
further
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 disasters.
In addition
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, with sudden visits by supervisors, severe mistakes can be found and fixed before the entity finishes the project. All in all,
while
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 not much can be done when a house is finished, by finding those who cheat in building houses using cheap materials, the government can prevent similar experiences and give a lesson to those who do not value integrity in their jobs.

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Structure
Your plan is good, but lay it out in a clear order. Have one idea per paragraph and put a simple plan in the intro and a short wrap up at the end.
Content
Your points fit the task, but add more proof. Use one or two clear examples of bad design and how rules can stop them.
Language
Keep to easy words. Fix any wrong word use and keep to one idea per sentence.
Coherence
Link ideas with simple join words like first, next, also, but, so, therefore to guide the reader.
Task achievement strength
The idea is clear: rules and checks can cut bad home work.
Content strength
Examples show what can go wrong when work is not checked.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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