IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

🔶More and more people are eating healthy food and exercising regularly. 🔸What are the reasons for that? What can we do to make other people do the same?

The society has changed greatly,
Linking Words
this
Correct word choice
and this
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 includes the
lifestyle
Use synonyms
. Many
people
Use synonyms
 are following a balanced diet and
exerciseing
Correct your spelling
exercising
 more frequently.
This
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assey
Correct your spelling
essay
 will discuss the reasons behind
this
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 shift, and will suggest what can be done to encourage more
people
Use synonyms
 to live
healthy
Replace the word
healthily
show examples
. One of the main reasons that more
people
Use synonyms
 are
attrackted
Correct your spelling
attracted
 to a healthy
lifestyle
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 is to avoid serious diseases and live longer.
For example
Linking Words
,
cardiovasicular
Correct your spelling
cardiovascular
 diseases can be avoided
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 if a healthy diet and regular
excersising
Correct your spelling
exercising
 are practically
considerd
Correct your spelling
considered
. A study
was
Verb problem
apply
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published by the Gulf University has suggested that
people
Use synonyms
eating
Wrong verb form
who eat
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 a big portion of
vegitables
Correct your spelling
vegetables
everday,
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 are
presenting
Wrong verb form
less likely to present
show examples
 with
less
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
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cardiac disease compared to
people
Use synonyms
 with
less
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer
show examples
vegitables
Correct your spelling
vegetables
 in their diet. Another reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
 phenomenon is that many
people
Use synonyms
 want to look good physically. The
influense
Correct your spelling
influence
 of
athelets
Correct your spelling
athletes
 and models is great on a huge category of the population. As a
resault
Correct your spelling
result
, many
people
Use synonyms
ate
Use the right word
are
show examples
goining
Correct your spelling
going
 to the gym and consuming healthy food. To encourage more
people
Use synonyms
 to consider a healthy
lifestyle
Use synonyms
, the government should cooperate with individuals to
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
 good
resaults
Correct your spelling
results
.
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
govenments
Correct your spelling
governments
 should apply taxes on fast food restaurants,offering meals with high sodium levels and fully saturated fats.
In addition
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, individuals should increase
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 knowledge about their health.
The
Use the right word
They
show examples
 should be aware of what can cause damage to their health, like
junck
Correct your spelling
junk
 food and sitting in an office for
couple
Correct article usage
a couple
show examples
 of hours without moving. In conclusion,
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also
Rephrase
apply
show examples
many
people
Use synonyms
 are living a healthy life to avoid illness and live longer, many steps can be taken by both
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
 and individuals to increase the number of
people
Use synonyms
 enjoying a healthy
lifestyle
Use synonyms
.

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grammar
Fix the many spelling and grammar errors to make your writing easy to read
structure
Make one clear topic sentence for each paragraph and stay on one point
content
Give more real and clear examples to back up your point
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas relate to each other
content
You have a real attempt to answer the task
structure
There is a plan with an intro, body and conclusion
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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