The pie charts show the electricity generated in Germany and France from all sources and renewables in the year 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts give information about the
generated
Correct word order
electricity generated
show examples
electricity
Use synonyms
from all
sources
Use synonyms
and renewable
sources
Use synonyms
in
Germany
Use synonyms
and
France
Use synonyms
in the year 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
Germany
Use synonyms
produced more amount of
electricity
Use synonyms
from the conventional thermal,
whereas
Linking Words
France
Use synonyms
produced through the nuclear from all types of
sources
Use synonyms
.
Similarly
Linking Words
, from renewable
Use synonyms
sources
Add a comma
sources,
show examples
we can see that more
electricity
Use synonyms
was produced from biomass in
Germany
Use synonyms
and in
France
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hydroelectric
generated
Check wording
power generated
show examples
huge
energy
Use synonyms
from renewables. The conventional thermal and Nuclear produced a higher percentage of
electricity
Use synonyms
in
Germany
Use synonyms
and
France
Use synonyms
, which accounts for 59.6 per
cent
Use synonyms
and nearly three quarters, respectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in
Germany
Use synonyms
electricity
Use synonyms
generated comprised approximately a fifth from the renewables, nearly a quarter from the Nuclear.
Although
Linking Words
energy
Use synonyms
generated comprised 39.3 per
cent
Use synonyms
from the Biomass in
Germany
Use synonyms
, it accounted to below a tenth in
France
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
,
energy
Use synonyms
generated in
France
Use synonyms
comprised 80.5 per
cent
Use synonyms
by the hydroelectric, 10.5 per
cent
Use synonyms
by the wind in 2009. In
Germany
Use synonyms
,
energy
Use synonyms
produced by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Hydroelectric
made
Check wording
power made
show examples
up 17.7 per
cent
Use synonyms
of the renewables.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, sources, germany, france, energy, cent with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • electricity generation
  • renewable sources
  • conventional thermal
  • nuclear power
  • hydroelectric power
  • biomass
  • wind energy
  • proportion
  • distribution
  • significant
  • contributor
What to do next:
Look at other essays: