IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The bar chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in Australia, divided into three categories, from 2001- 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The
bar
Use synonyms
chart
Use synonyms
 shows the total number of minutes of telephone calls in Australia. From 2001 to 2008
First
Add a comma
First,
show examples
 they have
tree
Use the right word
three
show examples
 colours the blue is the local ,
and
Correct word order
apply
show examples
yellow is national and international,
red
Correct word order
and red
show examples
 is
mobiles
Use synonyms
 . At 2001 the blue
chart
Use synonyms
 (local) it was 72 , yellow
chart
Use synonyms
 it was 38
also
Linking Words
, the
mobiles
Use synonyms
 its was 2 and it was the lowest one in the
mobiles
Use synonyms
. At the second one in 2002 , they
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 the blue
chart
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
, it
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 was 78
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, the yellow
Punctuation problem
, it
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 was 41 , red : 5
Thirthly
Correct your spelling
Thirdly
, in 2003 the local it was 85
and
Correct word order
apply
show examples
, the national and international its was 45
and
Correct word order
apply
show examples
,
the
Correct word order
and the
show examples
Use synonyms
mobiles
Fix the agreement mistake
mobile
show examples
is
Verb problem
rate was
show examples
 7 . In
2004
Punctuation problem
2004,
show examples
 the blue
bar
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was 89
and
Correct word order
apply
show examples
, the yellow
bar
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was 48
Rephrase
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
,
the
Correct word order
and the
show examples
 red
bar
Use synonyms
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was 9. The highest
totale
Correct your spelling
total
 is
locate
Wrong verb form
located
show examples
 it was 90 in 2005
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
,
yellow
Correct article usage
the yellow
show examples
bar
Use synonyms
it was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 50 , and
red
Correct article usage
the red
show examples
 it
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 12. The
last
Linking Words
 years in 2006 , 2007,
2008
Punctuation problem
2008,
show examples
 the blue
bar
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was 84/79/72
and
Correct your spelling
79
, the yellow
bar
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was 55/60/61
and
Correct your spelling
60
,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
 red it was 23/39/46
the
Punctuation problem
. The
show examples
 highest total in national and international
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was 61 in the
last
Linking Words
 year 2008 , and the highest total in
mobiles
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was 46
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the same year

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, last".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the seventh paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words bar, chart, mobiles with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the seventh paragraph.
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