some people thinnk that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. others, howerver, believe that boys and girls benefit more from atteding mixed schools. discuss both these views and give your opinion

There is an ongoing debate about
gender
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based
schools
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. Many people believe that educating
students
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in separate
schools
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is a better choice,
while
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others think mixed
schools
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are more beneficial. From my perspective, mixed
schools
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offer a better community for
students
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;
however
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, the benefits of the same opinion in separate
schools
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should be considered.
To begin
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with, separated
schools
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are specified for
one
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gender
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, so most of the
students
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have the same opinion for coordinating activities
such
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as camping or gathering.
Therefore
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, it is more convenient for teachers to hold an event.
For example
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, in
one
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gender
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schools
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, not only do teachers demonstrate more tours, but they
also
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teach faster.
In addition
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, lessons can be more specific to
one
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gender
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. There are some subjects that can be more useful if they are taught to
one
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gender
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. To illustrate
this
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, practical lessons are more suitable for boys,
whereas
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art subjects are more preferred by girls.
Although
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separated
schools
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offer some benefits, mixed
schools
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suggest greater education. In the mixed
schools
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,
students
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can experience a real society, and they can foster their social skills. Communication is the cornerstone of community. In mixed
schools
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, boys and girls have to do teamwork projects; through these projects, they communicate with each other.
Consequently
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, they will be able to speak with others clearly, and they will feel confident.
As a result
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, they will be prepared for the future.
For instance
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, in a university where boys and girls are in the same class, those who studied in mixed
schools
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can express themselves clearly, but others feel shy. In conclusion, separated
schools
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can perform well in holding events and specific courses as they share a more united opinion;
nevertheless
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, mixed
schools
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are more important since I think they are exhibiting a more realistic society.

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Task Response
Plan each paragraph before writing. State a clear point, give a reason, and give one example. Use simple, direct sentences.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make the flow with clear links. Use words like first, then, also, but, for example, and finally to show how ideas connect.
Language
Check grammar and word choice. Some phrases are odd or wrong. Use safe, common words and short sentences to keep the idea clear.
Strength
The writer takes a clear view on mixed schools.
Strength
The essay shows a contrast of ideas with some good sign words (however, in conclusion).
Strength
Multiple paragraphs show an attempt of structure.
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