IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that working for the same organisation for their whole career is better, while others think that changing jobs frequently is more beneficial. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

As corporate culture
changhes
Correct your spelling
changes
 from year to year, and considering that more often than not we
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 a good part of the day at our job, our working life has a
greate
Correct your spelling
great
 impact on our
happines
Correct your spelling
happiness
 and
well being
Use the right word
well-being
show examples
. Working for the same organisation your whole career
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 can sometimes give you more
comfort
Use synonyms
 and time to
persue
Correct your spelling
pursue
 a healthy work-life balance.
This
Linking Words
 is not to say that you will not
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
 your ambitions or will stagnate
professionaly
Correct your spelling
professionally
, but one may
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
 to focus on a
stady
Correct your spelling
steady
 growth in a familiar
enveroment
Correct your spelling
environment
feeling
Punctuation problem
, feeling
show examples
 safe to choose if and when to make a
change
Use synonyms
. At the same time, more
dinamic
Correct your spelling
dynamic
 people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
 have a
vaste
Correct your spelling
vast
 range of
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 may feel a need to
change
Use synonyms
 their company often, looking for career
advansement
Correct your spelling
advancement
 or avoiding getting stuck in their
comfort
Use synonyms
 zone. By doing
this
Linking Words
, you may create a
vaste
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vast
 networking group,
change
Use synonyms
 your
profesional
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professional
 focus to
batter suite
Use the right word
better suit
show examples
 your current interests and even improve
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
compesation
Correct your spelling
compensation
. I have found that, for
me
Punctuation problem
me,
show examples
 the
comfort
Use synonyms
ofered
Correct your spelling
offered
 by a
stady
Correct your spelling
steady
 job is
helpfull
Correct your spelling
helpful
 in focusing on deepening my knowledge, exploring new ways to advance in my field and build on my
profesional
Correct your spelling
professional
 reputation.
Also
Linking Words
, in order to
expend
Use the right word
expand
show examples
 my
comfort
Use synonyms
 zone, even if I may stay in the same company for a longer time, I will look for opportunities to
change
Use synonyms
 my role, take on new
responsabilities
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
 or benefit
form
Use the right word
from
show examples
 any knowledge sharing programs the
organizations
Use the right word
organisation
show examples
 is offering. There are pros and cons for both of the above arguments, and in order to benefit fully
form
Use the right word
from
show examples
 each of
them
Punctuation problem
them,
show examples
 you need to see what works for you, in a particular organisation or at
this
Linking Words
 stage of your career.

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structure
Make your introduction clear: state that you will discuss both views and give your own view.
content
Give reasons and examples for each view with some detail, not just general statements.
language
Use simple sentences to keep meaning clear and fix spelling and grammar.
structure
Finish with a strong conclusion that restates your own view.
cohesion
Improve links between ideas with clear topic sentences and linking words.
content
The essay shows some effort to cover both sides of the issue.
structure
There is a personal view and a voice in the last part.
content
Some ideas about growth and work life talk shows depth.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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