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Writing Samples
Band 6

IELTS Essay Transport Preferences Among Young People The bar chart below shows transport preferences among young people in four countries in a single year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows young
Use synonyms
people'choices
Correct your spelling
choices
 in
transportation
Use synonyms
 in four countries in a single year.
Thear
Correct your spelling
There
 are 3
catagories
Correct your spelling
categories
 of
transportation
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
 car
;
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 Motorcycle
;
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 and Bicycle.With four
participated
Wrong verb form
participating
show examples
 countries,
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
 UK
;
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
states
Fix capitalization
States
show examples
;
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 France
;
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 and Italy. Cars are most used by young
people
Use synonyms
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
 every country participatd with the rate of 40 to almost 80 of all
people
Use synonyms
. Motorcycle happened to be the least used compared to all of the choices
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 rate of 10 to 45.
While
Linking Words
 Bicycles tend to be the medium used among young
people
Use synonyms
 In
summaries
Fix the agreement mistake
summary
show examples
,
Using
Fix capitalization
using
show examples
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
 as a choice of
transportation
Use synonyms
 happened to be the most
poppular
Correct your spelling
popular
 and probably the most
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
show examples
 one too,
however
Linking Words
, it might not be the greatest choice for
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
. There absolutely has to
have
Verb problem
be
show examples
 carbon
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 it seems
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
can not be avoided.So make a wise choice before choosing which
transportation
Use synonyms
 you would like to use that has the least
effects
Fix the agreement mistake
effect
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the environment.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, transportation with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • transport
  • young people
  • country
  • chart
  • bar
  • year
  • most
  • least
  • popular
  • prefer
  • choice
  • mode of transport
  • car
  • bus
  • bike
  • walk
  • train
  • cost
  • price
  • time
  • city
  • town
  • urban
  • plan
  • policy
  • trend
  • compare
  • difference
  • similar
  • reason
  • effect
  • data
  • travel
  • travel choice
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