The young today spend a large amount of their leisure time in shopping centres. It is feared that this trend can bring negative influences on the youths and the society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

It is often argued that teenagers are spending an extended amount of time in commercial centres, which has created a fear among the
publi
Correct your spelling
public
about whether
such
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behaviour
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can have a negative impact on teens and
society
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. In my opinion, I agree that
such
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actions may lead to a negative development because they impact their spending
behaviour
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, and cause excessive
consumption
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.
To begin
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with, spending long hours in shopping malls stimulates people to spend more
money
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.
This
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is mainly because individuals are often attracted to fashion accessories,
such
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as clothing, footwear, and trendy handbags, which often
seek
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catch
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their attention in malls.
As a result
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, they spend a fortune on
such
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things , which may prevent them from saving
money
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on other necessities, and
such
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behaviour
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negatively impacts their
money
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management. As an example, a recent study proves that youths fall for trendy fashion in order to keep up
the
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with the
show examples
trend
Punctuation problem
trend,
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they often purchase more expensive goods to avoid discrimination among friends.
Therefore
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, it is evident that it has a negative impact on youths' spending culture.
Furthermore
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,
such
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a trend promotes excessive
consumption
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because individuals believe that
this
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behaviour
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is socially acceptable, which motivates them to constantly purchase products.
This
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impacts their decision-making skills because they fail to understand the difference between necessity and lifestyle.
In addition
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,
such
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a lack of knowledge causes excessive
consumption
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,
while
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stressing
society
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with issues,
such
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as pollution
,
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apply
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and recycling to prevent environmental damage.
For instance
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, a recent environmental study
showed
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apply
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showed why plastic waste is a growing concern,and it is
due to
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the fact
of throw- away
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that a throw-away
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culture
being
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is being
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adopted by citizens who are irresponsible
to protect
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in protecting
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the environment.
To sum up
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, some people argue that spending more time in shopping centres has adverse effects on youths and
society
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. I strongly agree that
such
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a trend impacts teenagers' spending patterns, which prevents them from saving
money
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.
Also
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, forces them to be a part of consumerism by encouraging the
consumption
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of unwanted things, which causes environmental stress to
Society
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.

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structure
Plan first: write an intro that states your view, then two or three body paragraphs, and a short conclusion.
clarity
Keep one clear idea in each paragraph. Start with a short sentence about the idea, then add a reason or example.
language
Use easy words and simple sentences. Check your grammar to avoid mistakes.
linking
Link ideas with easy connect words such as because, so, also, for example to show cause and result.
grammar
Check spelling and be consistent with verb forms and punctuation.
strength
The writer states a clear point and takes a stand.
strength
Some supporting ideas are given to back up the view.
structure
There is an intro and a conclusion that sum up the view.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • leisure time
  • shopping centre
  • negative influences
  • trend
  • materialism
  • consumer culture
  • impulsive buying
  • financial strain
  • exposure
  • physical activity
  • social interactions
  • small businesses
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