IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The table below shows the number of mobile phones and personal computers per thousand people in six different countries in 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The given depicts the amount of mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 and personal
comptures
Correct your spelling
computers
 per thousand individuals in
Chile
Use synonyms
, San Marino, France, Malaysia, New Zealand and
Inceland
Correct your spelling
Iceland
 in 2003.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are variations in
volume
Correct article usage
the volume
show examples
 of mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 and personal
computers
Use synonyms
 available in the given countries.
In Particular
Linking Words
, the largest difference between the two devices was recorded by San Marino.
It is clear that
Linking Words
, in
Chile
Use synonyms
, the amount of personal
computers
Use synonyms
 available was twice
higher
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
than
Correct word choice
that
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 mobile
phones
Use synonyms
, accounting for 100 per thousand people. In Malaysia, despite having
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
figure
Check wording
number
show examples
 of
Chile
Use synonyms
's personal
computers
Use synonyms
, it is over twice less than
of
Change preposition
as
show examples
 its mobile
phones
Use synonyms
. San Marino
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
while
Linking Words
 recording the lowest mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 among the given countries, reported the highest quantity of personal
computers
Use synonyms
 among them. The least difference between the two devices
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 recorded by France, accounting for 100 per thousand population.
In addition
Linking Words
, New Zealand noted 550 mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 per 1000 people, which was 200 higher than its figure for personal
computers
Use synonyms
. It is evident that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the highest volume of mobile
phones
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 reported by Iceland and its personal
computers
Use synonyms
 recorded four times higher than the quantity of
Chile
Use synonyms
 and Malaysia's personal
computers
Use synonyms
.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words phones, chile, computers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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