IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table shows the number of employees and factories producing silk in England and Wales between 1851 and 1901.

The given table depicts the
number
Use synonyms
 of workers and
factories
Use synonyms
 manufacturing silk in England and Wales from 1851 to 1901.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of employees gradually
decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
show examples
 over the given time span. Meanwhile, the highest
figure
Use synonyms
 for the
number
Use synonyms
 of total workers was recorded in
1851
Punctuation problem
1851,
show examples
while
Linking Words
 recording the lowest for
factories
Use synonyms
. In 1851, the
number
Use synonyms
 of workers was recorded as nearly 130,
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
whom
show examples
 the majority
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
were females.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
factories
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 twice as high as that for total employees in the same year. It is noticeable that the highest
figure
Use synonyms
 for
factories
Use synonyms
 was reported in 1861, which accounted for 761. In
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 decade, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
constitute
Verb problem
will constitute
show examples
 the majority of the total
employee's
Check wording
employees'
show examples
figure
Use synonyms
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
 over one third
was
Wrong verb form
will be
show examples
 recorded as males. It is noteworthy that the least difference between the
both
Correct determiner usage
two
show examples
 genders
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 noted in 1891, accounting for nearly 2. In the same year, the
figure
Use synonyms
factories
Use synonyms
 were 12 times higher than its
number
Use synonyms
 of
employees'
Check wording
employees
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in 1901, the total
number
Use synonyms
 of females working was twice as high as males, both accounting
a
Change preposition
for a
show examples
total of nearly 39.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, factories, figure with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 8 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Industrial expansion
  • Manufacturing hub
  • Technological innovation
  • Economic contribution
  • Productivity enhancement
  • Global market dynamics
  • Urbanization
  • Workforce demographics
  • Production scale
  • Social implications
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