IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Traffic congestion is a growing problem in many of the world’s major cities. Explain some possible reasons for this problem and suggest some solutions. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, traffic congestion is a significant problem in many large
cities
Use synonyms
.
Industrization
Correct your spelling
Industrialisation
 of countries and
increasing
Wrong verb form
an increase
show examples
 in the production of
cars
Use synonyms
 are
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 reasons. Many people believe that improving public transportation and job vacancies in rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 can be effective to tackle
this
Linking Words
 problem.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the
industrial revolution
Fix capitalization
Industrial Revolution
show examples
leads
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
 to
mass
Correct article usage
the mass
show examples
 production of
cars
Use synonyms
. Not only have many
cars
Use synonyms
 been produced, but they
Linking Words
also have
Correct word order
have also
show examples
been
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
been more affordable.
As a result
Linking Words
, a lot of
cars
Use synonyms
 are seen on
roads
Correct article usage
the roads
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, the
infrastrture
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
 of
cities
Use synonyms
 remained unchanged.
For instance
Linking Words
, in the past, in a local
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
 with 10 homes, there were
less
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer
show examples
 than 2
cars
Use synonyms
, but it is undeniable that more than 10
cars
Use synonyms
 are being used in the same
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
although
Linking Words
 the roads
did
Verb problem
have
show examples
 not been widened.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
show examples
 population in
cities
Use synonyms
 is another reason. A huge part of society in towns is there because they want to find
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 job with
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 salary.
Although
Linking Words
 many
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 have been
manufactuered
Correct your spelling
manufactured
, improving public transportation
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as purchasing new buses and building new subway
stations
Punctuation problem
stations,
show examples
 is the most effective way since many people use their personal
cars
Use synonyms
 to get to work every day.
In addition
Linking Words
, many
individulas
Correct your spelling
individuals
 change their homes from rural
areas
Use synonyms
 to urban
areas
Use synonyms
 to find a new job with
more
Correct word choice
a higher
show examples
 salary. If new factories are built in rural
areas
Use synonyms
, most people will prefer to remain in their hometown.
Consequently
Linking Words
, in the long term,
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 will
stablize
Correct your spelling
stabilise
 in towns
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
less
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer
show examples
cars
Use synonyms
 will be seen
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the roads. In conclusion, as many countries industrialised during
this
Linking Words
 century, more
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 have
be
Wrong verb form
been
show examples
 fabricated, so traffic congestion can be seen in big
cities
Use synonyms
;
however
Linking Words
, improving public transportation and building new factories in rural
areas
Use synonyms
 can be effective solutions.

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language
Fix many spelling and grammar errors. Check word form and mark off words that look wrong.
structure
Use one main idea per paragraph. Start with a short intro that tells what you will talk about, then body parts, and finish with a short conclusion.
content
Give more clear and full ideas. Add small facts or examples to prove your points.
coherence
Use simple link words to show cause, result, and order. This helps the flow of your writing.
ideas
You show a plan with cause and fix.
structure
There is a clear intro and a short conclusion.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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