Giving children an adolescent pocket money is common throughout the world. this goes the advantages and disadvantages of this practice and give your own opinion.

Giving some
money
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to the
children
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to spend has become a debatable topic.
This
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trend has both advantages and disadvantages , like
children
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can learn
money
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management skills , but having
money
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can
also
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spoil them. I will discuss both views in the following, before giving my own point of view. First of all, giving some amount of
money
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to
children
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helps them
to
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apply
show examples
develop
money
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management skills.
This
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also
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teaches them to be independent because they do not have to rely on their parents'
money
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to buy something. They can use their pocket
money
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if they want to buy anything.
Moreover
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, it
also
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helps parents to save more
money
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.
For example
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, in a survey in India, it was found that people who give monthly pocket
money
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to their offspring save a lot of
money
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that they could end up buying toys. They ask their
children
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to use their monthly
money
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to buy toys.
On the other hand
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, giving
money
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to
children
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may
also
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spoil them. Some youngsters use their allowance to buy unwanted things and engage in illegal activities.
For instance
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, in the USA, all college students have enough
money
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to buy drugs , which ultimately makes them addicts and
also
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distracts them from studying. In conclusion,
although
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there are some risks associated with
money
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, giving it to
children
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for spending. But I believe the advantages are more than the disadvantages because
children
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can learn financial management at an early stage of life , which can help them in future and
also
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make them self-dependent and confident.

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clarity
Make your point clear in the first paragraph and restate it in the last paragraph.
structure
Have one main idea in each paragraph and add a simple example to support it.
lexical
Use common words. Some words like 'offspring' are unusual for simple exams.
grammar
Check grammar and punctuation. End each sentence with a period and avoid long run-on lines.
cohesion
Use linking words like 'also', 'but', 'however' to show how ideas are linked.
content
The writer talks about both sides and gives a personal view.
structure
There is an attempt to finish with a clear opinion.
cohesion
The essay has a simple flow from start to end.
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