IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below shows the number of girls per 100 boys enrolled in different levels of school education. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of girls per 100 boys enrolled in different levels of school education. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line chart illustrates the number of girls
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
per 100 boys enrolled in different levels of school
education
Use synonyms
 .
Overall
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 chart
was
Verb problem
shows
show examples
Correct article usage
an increases
show examples
increases
Fix the agreement mistake
increase
show examples
 in 1998 under the line target
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
, this
show examples
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 shows the difference levels of the school
education
Use synonyms
. In 1998, the country started
about
Change preposition
with about
show examples
 183 in primary
education
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
 number is normal .
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
secondary
Use synonyms
education
Punctuation problem
education,
show examples
 it
was decreases
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
2
Change preposition
by 2
show examples
%
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
primary
education
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
. This
show examples
this
Linking Words
persisted
Verb problem
apply
show examples
is
better
Correct word choice
a positive trend
show examples
,but in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tertiary
Use synonyms
education
Punctuation problem
education,
show examples
 it was a big
chock
Use the right word
shock
show examples
Punctuation problem
. the
show examples
the countries
Correct determiner usage
Countries
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 developing 187
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is the best gain
fortunately
Punctuation problem
, fortunately
show examples
. On the
Correct word choice
other hand
show examples
hand
Punctuation problem
hand,
show examples
 the blow lines it was
decreases
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
 10%
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is a small
lose
Replace the word
loss
show examples
 But
it
Verb problem
it's
show examples
Correct your spelling
okay
okey
Punctuation problem
okey,
show examples
 we will see secondary
education
Use synonyms
. The secondary
education
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was
reducers
Replace the word
reduced
show examples
unfortunately
Punctuation problem
, unfortunately
show examples
, but we hoped In the tertiary
Use synonyms
education
Add a comma
education,
show examples
 we found
any
Correct determiner usage
no
show examples
 gain, but it was
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 big
lose
Replace the word
loss
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 year .

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the seventh paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the eighth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 82%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words education with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreases" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the seventh paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the eighth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • chart
  • number
  • girls
  • boys
  • enrolled
  • education
  • primary
  • secondary
  • higher
  • ratio
  • indicate
  • barriers
  • accessible
  • significant
  • decline
  • pursuing
  • features
  • comparisons
  • gender
  • equality
  • societal
  • norms
  • progress
  • issues
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