IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The number of professionals ie teachers and doctors are leaving their mother countries to work in other developed countries. What problem does this cause? what are the suggestions to deal with the situation

Increased cases of professional immigration
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 become a fundamental problem in many developing countries.
This
Linking Words
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
Check wording
turn
show examples
return
Punctuation problem
return,
show examples
 has led to workload and poor customer care offered in the mother country. To solve
Linking Words
this
Punctuation problem
this,
show examples
 the government can focus on improving the
renumeration
Use the right word
remuneration
show examples
 and
staff
Use synonyms
 motivation so as to retain the employees.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, when
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
mostly
Punctuation problem
, mostly
show examples
 doctors and
teachers
Punctuation problem
teachers,
show examples
 migrate to other countries, their nation will be left with too much workload
due to
Linking Words
loss of the
Correct word order
the loss of
show examples
 employees searching for greener pastures in other nations.
In addition
Linking Words
, the services offered to clients will be of low quality since the
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
left
Wrong verb form
who leave
show examples
 will be interested in clearing the long
ques
Use the right word
queues
show examples
 as they wait for their turn to leave rather than offering better services.
For instance
Linking Words
, a study done on
impacts
Correct article usage
the impacts
show examples
 of doctor
migration
Use synonyms
 in Nigeria in 2018 revealed that many clients spent a whole day waiting for their turn to be served as the consultation room had only two
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
 who were expected to serve approximately 500 customers in a day.
This
Linking Words
 causes some to go back home unattended.
Thus
Linking Words
, workload and poor work were witnessed
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the territory where
migration
Use synonyms
 of
staff
Use synonyms
 took place in large numbers.
However
Linking Words
, to overcome
this
Linking Words
, the government can focus on increasing salaries, bonuses and even
houly
Correct your spelling
hourly
 payments during nights, holidays and weekends.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it should improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
motivation by allowing career development
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is a factor considered during promotions. To
ilustrate
Correct your spelling
illustrate
this
Linking Words
, a study done in Ireland
medical
Change preposition
by medical
show examples
 researchers in 2004 at one of the government
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
show examples
 on the effects of
renumeration
Use the right word
remuneration
show examples
 to the
staff
Use synonyms
 showed that
due to
Linking Words
 their way of wage payments, it has reduced
staff
Use synonyms
migration
Use synonyms
 from 45% to 23
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in the months of March and December respectively.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 shows that better payments and motivation can decrease the
migration
Use synonyms
 cases that are witnessed lately. In conclusion, immigration has become a critical issue
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it has led to
rendering
Correct article usage
the rendering
show examples
 of services that are below average and overburdening the workers. To curb
this
Linking Words
,
state
Correct article usage
the state
show examples
 can focus on better salaries and employee"s morale elevation.

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task response
Explain more on the problem and the solution so you cover all parts well. Give more steps or ideas for how to fix the issue.
coherence
Make the links between ideas smoother. Use simple words like first, also, but, so, then to help flow.
grammar
Fix small grammar and spelling mistakes: renumeration -> remuneration, hourly, queues, illustrate, staff -> staff (not staffs). Use shorter, clearer sentences.
coherence
Put each main idea in a new paragraph and use one idea per paragraph. This will help the flow and give a clear form.
content
The essay shows a clear view on the topic and gives both problem and fix.
structure
It has a start, a middle and an end.
structure
Link words help the text to move from one idea to the next.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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