IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, some people are renting accomodation, while other are buying their own homes. Does renting accomodation have more advantages or more disadvantages than buying a place?

Nowadays, people are in doubt to buy or
rent
Use synonyms
 properties
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
this
Linking Words
 has
been
Verb problem
become
show examples
 increasingly common in our society. Some people believe renting places
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 benefits for every individual,
while
Linking Words
 another group argue it is sensible to become the
owner
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
 even
it
Correct word choice
if it
show examples
 is not spacious. I believe renting or buying properties is highly
depend
Replace the word
dependent
show examples
 on our financial
situation
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 in some
case
Fix the agreement mistake
cases
show examples
 renting houses is better than buying them. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 we will talk about its advantages and disadvantages.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
Linking Words
It
Fix capitalization
it
show examples
 is clear that renting has some kind of benefits for your financial
situation
Use synonyms
. When you don't have
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 amount of
Use synonyms
money
Punctuation problem
money,
show examples
 it is sensible to
rent
Use synonyms
 a
house
Use synonyms
 or
apartement
Correct your spelling
apartment
 for yourself.
Moreover
Linking Words
, sometimes you have
money
Use synonyms
 to buy
Use synonyms
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
 outskirt of the city
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 for certain reasons like your career or
study
Replace the word
studying
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the
university
Add a comma
university,
show examples
 it is better to
rent
Use synonyms
 a
house
Use synonyms
 in
Correct article usage
the central
show examples
central
Replace the word
centre
show examples
, where you
access
Verb problem
have access
show examples
 to important
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
 quickly.
Additionally
Linking Words
, buying new
Use synonyms
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
 needs
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
 amount of
money
Use synonyms
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 you can
rent
Use synonyms
 a place and save your
money
Use synonyms
 for financial activities;
for example
Linking Words
, you can buy new equipment or tools for your career to improve your skills and increase your income
instead
Linking Words
 of buying
Use synonyms
house
Correct article usage
a house
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Buying
Fix capitalization
buying
show examples
 new
Use synonyms
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 some advantages for owners. Owners know that they should not allocate part of their salaries for renting.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in case of
redundant
Replace the word
redundancy
show examples
, you are not worried about how you can pay for renting
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it reduces your stress in life.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, when you are an
owner
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
house
Correct article usage
a house
show examples
, you can do whatever you want
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
 inviting your friends and being loud whole of
the
Correct article usage
all
show examples
 day,
while
Linking Words
 if you
rent
Use synonyms
 an
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
accommodation
accomodation
Punctuation problem
accomodation,
show examples
 you should obey the rules of the
owner
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I think both renting and buying a
house
Use synonyms
offers
Correct subject-verb agreement
offer
show examples
 some kind of advantages based on your
situation
Use synonyms
. If we don't have enough
money
Use synonyms
, it is inevitable to
rent
Use synonyms
 an
Use synonyms
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
 cost of
central
Correct article usage
a central
show examples
 building leads to renting rather than buying to have access
more
Change preposition
to more
show examples
 places in
quick
Correct article usage
a quick
show examples
 way.
However
Linking Words
, buying a
house
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 some
advanatges
Correct your spelling
advantages
 for
Use synonyms
owner
Correct article usage
the owner
show examples
, like being comfortable, reducing stress.
Linking Words
as
Fix capitalization
As
show examples
 a result, we should decide based on our
situation
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Your idea of rent vs. buy is clear and you share both sides. Try to state your view more clearly in the opening and keep a firm position in the end.
coherence
Make each paragraph cover one main idea. Use a short reason and a simple example for support.
grammar vocabulary
Check spell and small grammar mistakes. Common words like accommodation, apartment, and centre are easier when spelled right.
coherence
Use shorter sentences. Put ideas in order and use linking words like also, but, because, so to guide the reader.
content strength
The essay shows both sides and says money as a key factor.
structure strength
It has an intro, body and a quick conclusion.
content strength
It offers reasons for why renting or buying can work in life.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rent
  • buy
  • home
  • house
  • price
  • cost
  • money
  • pay
  • move
  • stay
  • time
  • plan
  • job
  • life
  • own
  • fix
  • change
  • rule
  • space
  • place
  • loan
  • payment
  • first
  • long
  • short
What to do next:
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