The line graph below shows the number of serious crimes that occurred in London between 2003 and 2012.

The provided line chart illustrates the distribution of three types of dangerous
crimes
Use synonyms
in London from 2003 to 2011. The X-axis displays the years
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
the Y-axis shows the
number
Use synonyms
of
crimes
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
of armed robberies declined significantly,
crimes
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as murders remained relatively stable
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
the total
number
Use synonyms
of assaults increased. Armed robbery
accounted
Correct word order
initially accounted
show examples
initially
Linking Words
for the largest
number
Use synonyms
of
crimes
Use synonyms
, but it was
then
Linking Words
overtaken by assaults. After a slight rise in the
number
Use synonyms
of armed robberies to around 3,600 in 2004, it decreased dramatically to nearly 1,000 in 2008. In 2009,
this
Linking Words
number
Use synonyms
rose to approximately
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1,500 and remained stable until 2012.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the total
number
Use synonyms
of murders rose
initially
Linking Words
from around 500 to nearly 1,000 in 2005.
This
Linking Words
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
was followed by a phase of small fluctuations reaching a low point of approximately 600 in 2011. In comparison, the
number
Use synonyms
of assaults
also
Linking Words
fluctuated between 2003 and 2008 before peaking at approximately 2,600

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "initially".
Vocabulary: Replace the words crimes, number with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 7 times.
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: