IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of applicants from foyr different countries in a UK university between 1999 and 2002.

The bar chart illustrates data about how many candidates in a UK university in four different countries (
European
Use synonyms
Nations
Use synonyms
, Middle East, Far East and Africa) over the four years between 1999 and 2003.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the number of applicants in the
European
Use synonyms
Nations
Use synonyms
 and
Far
Correct article usage
the Far
show examples
 East
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
showed the highest figures over the period.
While
Linking Words
, followed
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the Middle East and Africa , remaining consistently lowest in each year compared to their counterparts. The number of applicants in
European
Use synonyms
Nations
Use synonyms
 started at 30.000in 1999, saw a consistent drop to 20.000 , and
this
Linking Words
 was followed by a noticeable fall to 10.000 in 2003.
However
Linking Words
, candidates in the Far East increased dramatically from 15.000 in 1999 to 25.000 in 2001,
then
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 figure rose consistently to 30.000
at the end
Linking Words
 of the year. It was at a similar height to
European
Use synonyms
nations
Use synonyms
 at a different time.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the applicants in Africa
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 were the lowest with remain stable , but
this
Linking Words
 figure showed a steady growth from 4.000 in 2002 to 6.000 in 2003.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the number of
condidates
Correct your spelling
candidates
 in
Middle
Correct article usage
the Middle
show examples
 East saw a slight rise from 10.000 at the
beggining
Correct your spelling
beginning
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
to 15.000 in 2001. Meanwhile,
this
Linking Words
 figure
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
 marginally to 11.000 in 2002, but
then
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 went up significantly to 20.000 in 2003.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words european, nations with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: