IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct (eg Dinosours, dodos) There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree?

This
Linking Words
 is widely acknowledged that preserving
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
show examples
 is useless because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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natural causes. I disagree with that statement
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 preventing
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
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 which are rare is important for future life. About 5000 years ago, there were so many different types of living
creature
Fix the agreement mistake
creatures
show examples
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as dinosaurs. Most people know that they vanished because of
natural
Correct article usage
a natural
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 disaster
that meteoroids
Correct word order
meteoroids that
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 fell to the surface of the earth.
Hence
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, from that hazard, humanity slowly appeared
in
Change preposition
on
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this
Linking Words
 planet. And
that is
Linking Words
 the reason why we are alive and exist now. If dinosaurs were still alive, we could have already been
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 prey
of
Change preposition
apply
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them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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.
According to
Linking Words
 the BBC news, to maintain
prosperity
Correct article usage
the prosperity
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 of individuals, dangerous living
being
Replace the word
beings
show examples
 should be killed.
However
Linking Words
, climate change is affecting
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
numerous breeds of
faunas
Fix the agreement mistake
fauna
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. Because of climate change
more
Punctuation problem
, more
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 and more unique animals are
being disappeared
Wrong verb form
disappearing
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.
For instance
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, hippopotamus is left
only
Change preposition
with only
show examples
 2
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 the worst thing is
both
Correct word choice
that both
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 of them are female.
That is
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 to say, hippopotamus is no longer available in
this
Linking Words
 world because they don’t have
any
Correct determiner usage
the
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 accessibility to reproduce a new generation.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, our new generation will not have any conception
about
Change preposition
of
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hippopotamus
Correct article usage
a hippopotamus
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. In order to maintain other exclusive animals, eco committees
are
Verb problem
apply
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have to preserve them, nourish them and keep them in the environment which they require. It can contribute to the availability of rare faunas. In conclusion, animals are the face of the earth, not only special organisations but
also
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 every individual
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 to secure them. Whilst
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 keeping them in artificial zones can be beneficial rather than in nature

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structure
Make a clear plan before you write. Use one idea per paragraph and finish with a short end.
ideas
Give two or three clear reasons. Use simple facts or small proofs to back them up.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words such as and, but, also, for example. Check that each sentence connects to the last.
grammar
Watch spelling and grammar. Check verbs and plurals. Read aloud to catch mistakes.
examples
Use a real example or fact that you know. Do not rely only on TV words.
strength
You show a clear view that we should protect rare animals.
strength
Some idea on how climate change can harm animals is good.
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