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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows information about the population in New Zealand from 2011 to 2012 by age group

The table depicts the data about the proportion of different groups of inhabitants of New Zealand from
Use synonyms
year
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apply
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2011 to 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, the rate of residents of
this
Linking Words
 country rose significantly.
While
Linking Words
 people who were around 15-39 made up
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
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amount
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of all people
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in 2011, there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 roughly 4.3 million individuals, and it increased to 4.4 million by 0.6%
of
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growth. Children
who
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aged under 15 and 15-39
year
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 individuals plummeted to 0.2%. In the initial
year
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, it made up 898.160 and 1.557.256, respectively. By 2012, it dropped to 896.364 and 1.574.102, in turn.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, 40-64 aged folks rose dramatically to 1.339.898
with
Punctuation problem
, with
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,
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apply
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 0.6%
of
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growth from 1.331.907.
However
Linking Words
, the age group which represented the lowest rate was 65+. The number of elderly people in the first
year
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 was significantly low, constituting 573.946. Meanwhile, they experienced a stable growth to 596.903
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 increased by 4%

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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