IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Some people believe that schools should completely ban the sale of junk food on their premises, while others argue that students should be free to make their own food choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of individuals believe that
school’s
Check wording
school
show examples
canteen
Fix the agreement mistake
canteens
show examples
shuold
Correct your spelling
should
ban
Use synonyms
 fast
food
Use synonyms
entirely
Punctuation problem
entirely,
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while
Linking Words
 others consider
school
Correct word choice
that school
show examples
lunchroom
Fix the agreement mistake
lunchrooms
show examples
must
Verb problem
should
show examples
 not
ban
Use synonyms
junk
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
.From my perspective, it is not necessarily true that
ban
Use synonyms
junk
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
 completely.
One
Use the right word
On
show examples
 the one hand, it is widely claimed that using unhealthy
foods
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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 harms
student’s
Check wording
students’
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 health or
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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 in overweight.
According to
Linking Words
 the
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
researches
Add a comma
researches,
show examples
 more than 90
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
long- term
Use the right word
long-term
show examples
 diseases
orign
Correct your spelling
originate
 from consuming
unhealth
Use the right word
unhealthy
show examples
foods
Use synonyms
 regularly. Another problem is
due to
Linking Words
 its high level of sugar
it
Verb problem
causes it
show examples
cause
Verb problem
apply
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to
overweight
Verb problem
be overweight
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 the United
States
Add a comma
States,
show examples
 more than 113
billion
Use the right word
million
show examples
 people suffer from it.
One
Use the right word
On
show examples
 the other hand, it is commonly thought that schools sell
junk
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
cafeteria
Correct article usage
the cafeteria
show examples
. Compared to healthy options, these
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
foods
Use synonyms
prepared
Verb problem
are prepared
show examples
 in a second and in some
cases
Add a comma
cases,
show examples
 many students benefit from fast
foods
Use synonyms
.Another reason is
even
Correct word choice
that even
show examples
 though
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it could harm
health
Punctuation problem
health,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is very delicious. In fact,
For
Fix capitalization
for
show examples
 many people it is
indispensable
Correct article usage
an indispensable
show examples
 part of their lunch. In conclusion, it is often said that schools need
Use synonyms
ban
Verb problem
to ban
show examples
junk
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
 immediately.
While
Linking Words
 others believe that it is part of their daily routine. From my point of view ,it depends on
people
Check wording
people's
show examples
 wishes.

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overall
Make your view clear in the first part and again at the end.
structure
Give one main idea for each paragraph and show how it links to the next part.
language
Use plain words and short sentences. Avoid long, difficult phrases.
grammar
Check for mistakes in spelling and word form to help your point come through.
content
You raise a point on both sides of the topic.
analysis
You try to show your own view at the end.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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