The graph below shows average carbon dioxide emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweeden, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007 Task1

The graph illustrates the average carbon dioxide emissions per
individuals
Fix the agreement mistake
individual
show examples
in the period of 1967 to 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, there is a uniform
trend
Use synonyms
for almost all nations. In the time between 1967 and
1977
Add a comma
1977,
show examples
while
Linking Words
Italy, Portugal and
Use synonyms
Sweeden
Use the right word
Sweden
show examples
follows
Correct subject-verb agreement
follow
show examples
an upward
trend
Use synonyms
,
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
United
Kingdom
Use synonyms
remains firm. From 1977 onwards,
Use synonyms
Sweeden
Use the right word
Sweden
show examples
changes the claim and follows a downward
trend
Use synonyms
with
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
United
Kingdom
Use synonyms
.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Punctuation problem
hand,
show examples
statistics in Italy and Portugal
increases
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
up to 2007.
In addition
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
United
Kingdom
Use synonyms
has the highest value, Portugal represents the lowest value.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the only nation which changes the
trend
Use synonyms
is
Use synonyms
Sweeden
Use the right word
Sweden
show examples
. In
Use synonyms
Sweeden
Use the right word
Sweden
show examples
, the amount of carbon emission per person
decreases
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
for
Change preposition
over
show examples
thirty years in the period of 1977 to 2007. In conclusion, Italy and Portugal
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
the same amount in 2007. On the
second
Correct word choice
other
show examples
hand,
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
United
Kingdom
Use synonyms
and
Use synonyms
Sweeden
Use the right word
Sweden
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
almost the same amount
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
is
near
Correct word choice
close
show examples
to
value
Correct article usage
the value
show examples
of eight.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words trend, sweeden, kingdom with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: