IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that studying history is a waste of time while others think it is essential to learn history. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In todays
world
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, where everything is modernized, and new, some
people
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 think that studying or reading
history
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 is a waste of time, because it is of no use and concern these days, and what will we get out of it,
while
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 there are
people
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 who think it is important to learn
history
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 as the modernized
world
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 that we have now is evolved, is beacause of the past
history
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, i believe it is essential to learn
history
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 as we will know about the sacrifices made by the important
people
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 back in ages to live in the
world
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 like
this
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. Now,
on the other hand
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 if i say,
people
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 who are against studying
history
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 are not wrong either because it will not benefit them in anyway as life is much more revolutionised now, but as i said earlier, as the
world
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 changes there things will be
history
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 too, so it is important to know about how things were before compared to how they are now, be it economically, historically. i will given an example of my country, pakistan..as how quaid e azam lived his life, is a true essence of beauty and class, how classy
people
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 used to carry themselves and how he voiced his opinions and struggled to bring us a separate nation where we can live peacefully, without any interruption from other religions or without surviving under another nation, and there are many
people
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 who were involved in
this
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 independance, if today's
people
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 don't know about the
people
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 involved in the making pakistan a separate country, they might not know the value of it. So, in
conclusion
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conclusion,
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i
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I
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 would say
i
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I
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 am in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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favour of
learing
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learning
 more about
history
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everyday
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every day
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, the beautiful ancient mosques, mahals (those were dedicated to loved ones), how those are made
and
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, and
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 about the wars and their heroes who survived and who died
of
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apply
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saving the country, all
this
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 makes
the
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apply
show examples
history
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 more engaging and informative.

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content
Balance both views. Talk about both sides with equal detail.
structure
Make a four paragraph plan: intro, view 1, view 2, your view, then a short end.
language
Use linking words to show how ideas go with each other.
grammar
Fix grammar and use full stops and comma in the right place.
content
Clear main idea and stance.
example
Some good use of example from life.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • history
  • learn
  • time
  • waste
  • essential
  • past
  • present
  • future
  • people
  • facts
  • dates
  • change
  • cause
  • effect
  • lesson
  • skill
  • idea
  • thinking
  • decision
  • example
  • proof
  • build
  • plan
  • work
  • study
  • school
  • war
  • peace
  • mistake
  • success
  • evidence
  • compare
  • culture
  • society
  • memory
What to do next:
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