IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Success is often measured by wealth and material belonging. Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person?

In today's world, most
people
Use synonyms
 are inclined towards
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 thinking that
success
Use synonyms
 is measured by wealth and material belongings,
whereas
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 there are
people
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 who look at
success
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 as an ordinary thing and
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
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 not look at wealth as a precursor of
success
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,
while
Linking Words
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 believe morals, respect and honesty
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 what
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
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 a
person
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 successful. On one hand, if a
person
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 who possess luxury cars, carries designer bags, wears shiny ornaments is considered the epitome os
success
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, as it is all visible and noticeable, infact they like to show it off and there is no way
people
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 can unnotice it, so they automatically assume, he/she is the successful
person
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 because he/she has wealth and these
things
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 are only owned when you have money
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if a
person
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 who carries local bags, posses not so luxury, hatchback kinda cars, and wears minimal but elegant jewellery are not considered successsful because they don't show
things
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 like those i mentioned above do, some
people
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 like to keep themselves lowkey, or you can say are down to earth, they don't like to be the center of attention. So,
point
Correct article usage
the point
show examples
 here is
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success
Correct determiner usage
that success
show examples
 can be measured by so many
things
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,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
success
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 is not just money and blingy
things
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,
Punctuation problem
. Success
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success
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 is empathy towards
people
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, it is healing yourself so you don't attack
people
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 because of your lackings
, true
Punctuation problem
. True
show examples
success
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 is measured by how good
of
Change preposition
apply
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a human you are in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 world full of demeaning, disrespectful
people
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Make a clear start and a short end. Put your view in the first line and end with a quick wrap up.
coherence
Offer one main idea per paragraph and add a short example for each idea.
coherence
Link ideas with small words: also, but, however, for example.
grammar
Fix words and form. Use simple and short sentences.
grammar
Use the right form of verbs and nouns.
content
Your stance is clear: success is more than money.
ideas
You show a good idea of inner traits like kindness.
content
You use examples to show your point.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • wealth
  • success
  • money
  • rich
  • goal
  • achieve
  • ambition
  • work
  • job
  • career
  • education
  • skill
  • growth
  • happiness
  • health
  • family
  • friends
  • time
  • help
  • impact
  • contribution
  • values
  • ethics
  • respect
  • honesty
  • discipline
  • balance
  • fulfillment
  • well-being
  • life
What to do next:
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