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Band 4.5

Every year more and more students chose to study online rather than attend classes on campus. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest ?

Throughout the years, education has drastically changed in many ways. Today,
students
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 have
an
Correct article usage
the
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 option to study online rather than attend
classes
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. The number of
students
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 wanting to study online
instead
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 of on campus increases every year.
This
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 essay will discuss the causes and solutions of
this
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 issue. There are many
purposes
Check wording
reasons
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 that make
students
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 not attend
classes
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 on campus.
First,
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some
students
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 may find attending lectures extremely boring.
Such
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students
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 need entertainment within education
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 institutes do nothing about it.
Secondly
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, some
students
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 deal with challenges to attend. They often don’t have a source of
transportation
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, and they deal with challenges to get to the building. Some don’t have a car
and
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, and
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 others can’t afford
transportation
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 costs.
Finally
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, the major reason
students
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 don’t attend
classes
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 is because of strict timings. Universities put very precise early
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classes
Fix the agreement mistake
class
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 timings for
students
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,
such
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 as
classes
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 that start at 7 AM.
As a result
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, scholars are less interested
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
classes
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 in educational institutions. There are
also
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 multiple solutions
to
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for
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such
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students
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. To start with, universities can start providing sources of entertainment for learners.
For example
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, provide activities
such
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 as board games or sports.
This
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 way
attendees
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, attendees
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 will be motivated to attend daily.
Moreover
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, institutions can provide
transportation
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 for
students
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for
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at
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 a decreased price.
Instead
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 of
students
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 suffering to afford
transportation
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, the university provides buses specifically for
students
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.
Therefore
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,
students
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 will stop worrying about
transportation
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.
Furthermore
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, educators can adjust their timings for the
scholars
Check wording
scholars'
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 sake. Rather than a class starting
earlier
Add a comma
earlier,
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 it can adjust to an hour later.
This
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 will ensure
students
Use synonyms
 are more likely to attend. In conclusion, every problem has a solution to it, and now
students
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 can attend with no doubts. The student environment affects the choice of attending. So, academies should improve their environment to ensure attendance.

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structure
Add a clear plan: first mention causes, then give a solution for each. Use a new paragraph for each main idea.
vocabulary
Keep word use simple and easy. Avoid hard words. Use common words for easy read.
detail
Give more detail for each point. Add one or two examples for each idea.
grammar
Check grammar. Watch word order and tense. Use full stops and commas well.
content
The essay shows a clear idea of causes and solutions.
structure
There is a clear start, body and end.
cohesion
Some linking words help flow.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • flexibility
  • convenience
  • cost-effectiveness
  • commuting
  • housing
  • campus amenities
  • technological advancements
  • interactive
  • engaging
  • viable alternative
  • global access
  • esteemed institutions
  • environmental benefits
  • carbon emissions
  • environmental footprint
  • personalized learning experience
  • adaptive learning technologies
  • hands-on learning
  • hybrid models
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