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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The government has the duty to ensure its citizens have a healthy diet, while others believe it is individuals' responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary world , maintaining a healthy diet could be challenging. In doing so, everybody is trying to
intake
Verb problem
consume
show examples
 organic
food
Use synonyms
 to enhance their health. To inculcate it as a daily habit, some people consider it the responsibility of the government
Linking Words
whereas
Punctuation problem
, whereas
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 others believe it is a personal choice.
This
Linking Words
 essay will shed light on both the views and provide evidence to prove the arguments.
Body paragraph 1
In order to ensure that people have wholesome
Use synonyms
food
Punctuation problem
food,
show examples
 the government have to implement regulations and advertise the importance of a healthy diet. In recent times, there has been a surge in fast
food
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 chains
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 without proper laws and restrictions, these outlets could exploit.
So
Punctuation problem
So,
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 to restrict that government has to impose heavy taxes and regular inspection on
food
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 safety.
Moreover
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, the policy-makers should advertise the importance of consuming natural
food
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 and its benefits to the human body.
For example
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, in countries like Japan, South Korea and other Asian cities, authorities maintain a strict regime on fast
food
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 outlets and encourage the public to eat vegetables or home-cooked meals.
Body paragraph 2
Although
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 the authorities bring out policies on
food
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,
at the end
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 of the day , it all depends on the particular individuals to have healthy
food
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. The present generation tends to prefer fast
food
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 over organic supplements mainly for its taste and cost efficiency.
For example
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, a hamburger at McDonald's costs around 5 dollars
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
, that
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 is prepared instantly and
tasty
Correct word choice
tastes good
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 wholesome
food
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 is a bit costly and takes time to prepare.
Furthermore
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, in a recent survey conducted by Brown University, the majority of American citizens are facing problems like obesity, heart failures, and
diabities
Correct your spelling
diabetes
 mainly
due to
Linking Words
 over-reliance on greasy
food
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.
Conclusion
In conclusion, even though the authorities implement and advertise the significance of natural
food
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, it all comes
to
Change preposition
down to
show examples
 the
individual
Check wording
individual's
show examples
 interests in what kind of
food
Use synonyms
 intake helps in maintaining a healthy body.

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task response
Be clear on your own view in the end. Say what you think.
coherence
Use more link words to join ideas smoothly.
grammar
Check spelling and fix grammar for better accuracy.
lexical
Use simple words and short sentences to stay in the top 100 words.
task response
The essay tries to cover both sides.
coherence
Intro and conclusion are present.
task response
Some good examples and points are given.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutritious foods
  • subsidizing
  • processed and junk foods
  • regulating food advertisements
  • public health campaigns
  • nutrition education
  • personal choice and responsibility
  • informed decisions
  • dietary habits
  • conscious dietary choices
  • government intervention
  • equal access
  • facilitates
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