IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, they think that other types of progress are equality important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. TASK2

Use synonyms
Economy
Correct article usage
The economy
show examples
 is one of the most significant aspects for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
governments
Use synonyms
. Generally,
politicans
Correct your spelling
politicians
 come up with
economical
Correct word choice
economic
show examples
 promises to impress citizens.
However
Linking Words
, some
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 of individuals rejected the government’s promises and came up with
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 opinion which argues that the
economy
Use synonyms
 shouldn’t be the most significant thing for the government.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, these groups support ideas like equality, justice,
social
Correct word choice
and social
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 more than economic status. First of all, a qualified
life
Use synonyms
 is not possible without a great
economy
Use synonyms
. It’s clear that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the percentage of satisfied citizens in countries which have great economic conditions is higher than the countries which are not that developed in
Use synonyms
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
sight
Check wording
terms
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
 is not enough to provide
every
Change preposition
for every
show examples
needs
Fix the agreement mistake
need
show examples
 by itself. A great
economy
Use synonyms
 needs to come with a high quality of
life
Use synonyms
 to provide a great
life
Use synonyms
 to citizens.
Moreover
Linking Words
, all the
governments
Use synonyms
 should support
concepts
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as justice, equality, human rights,
ethical
Correct word choice
and ethical
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 values to make social
life
Use synonyms
 more
organized
Change the spelling
organised
show examples
 and
meaningfull
Correct your spelling
meaningful
. If
governments
Use synonyms
 don’t focus on
concepts
Use synonyms
 that need to be applied in social
Use synonyms
life
Punctuation problem
life,
show examples
 they can’t be
succesfull
Correct your spelling
successful
 in their economic goals.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
investors and exclusive brands ignore countries that can’t provide
required
Correct article usage
the required
show examples
concepts
Use synonyms
 in social
life
Use synonyms
 when they invest.
For instance
Linking Words
, Saudi Arabia had a huge project which aimed
a
Verb problem
to create a
show examples
modern city in
desert
Correct article usage
the desert
show examples
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 they couldn’t gather enough investment because of the
life
Use synonyms
standarts
Correct your spelling
standards
 and suspicious situations in their country. In conclusion,
Use synonyms
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
 is expressive when it’s combined with the
concepts
Use synonyms
 that improve
life
Use synonyms
 quality. In my estimation, all the
governments
Use synonyms
 should focus on all these factors equally to provide a better
life
Use synonyms
standarts
Correct your spelling
standard
.

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structure
Be clear. Say both views and your own view in one line.
language
Keep each idea short. Use small, plain words.
content
Give a short example for each point.
language
Link ideas with easy words like 'also', 'but', 'so'.
language
Fix small mistakes like standarts, meaningfull, succesfull and spell words correctly.
content
The piece shows the idea of a balance between money and life quality.
language
It uses good links like Moreover and On the other hand.
content
There is a real example from a country.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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