The bar chart showed the percentage of school children learning to play four different musical instruments (violin, guitar, piano, drums) in 2005, 2010, 2015.

The bar chart showed the percentage of school children learning to play four different musical instruments (violin, guitar, piano, drums) in 2005, 2010,
2015
Correct word choice
and 2015
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
piano
Correct article usage
the piano
show examples
accounted
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
highest figure,
whereas
Linking Words
drums
Correct article usage
the drums
show examples
remained the lowest.The dominant category shifted over the period
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
the lowest figure
also
Linking Words
changed by the final year. In general,
violin
Correct article usage
the violin
show examples
declined over the period.
In contrast
Linking Words
;
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
guitar, drums, and piano experienced growth.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "showed" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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